Reply to SO on overnight guest post: What am I missing re romantic sleepovers?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This whole post has officially become ridiculous. We have our own set of rules in our home, but labeling all males as potential pedophiles is crazy. How do you deal with cousins, nephews, uncles visiting? OR maybe brothers of your AP? I wonder if you even have children in school... Do you trust teachers? Coaches? Life is scary, but banning all contact with makes might just very well bring your children other issues later in life...

In response with a previous poster with male AP and male kids (and she is perhaps the OP?), I think gender might have something to do with your decision. I have female APs and 3DDs, but I see my friends and siblings who are raising boys and the standard for what is acceptable in their eyes is substantially different. I find that moms of boys in general are much more lenient with their sons' behaviors (have sex with multiple partners? one night stands? smoking weed? Unruly behaviors?), almost as if they were acceptable, normal, and in some cases even 'cute'. I see many of these boys being excused for behaviors that would not be acceptable for girls. [/quote]

17:31 here.  I agree completely with the first paragraph in your post.  The PP who doesn't allow her children to go on sleepovers is setting her children up for major issues later on, both in terms of anxiety and in terms of rebellion.

To the second paragraph, we have hosted male APs for four years, after six years of hosting females, and we have a DD and a DS.  Gender has nothing to do with my expectations or rules.  I would not allow my male AP to bring home serial girlfriends anymore than I would have allowed our female APs to bring home serial boyfriends.  The female AP who was in a longterm, committed, monogamous relationship had her boyfriend spend two weeks with us, sleeping in her room, and the two male APs who were/are in longterm, committed, monogamous relationships had/have their girlfriends stay over a lot.  These are particular circumstances with particular people -- we love our AP, love his girlfriend, know them both well, and trust them both implicitly.  I would not allow this for a male AP who was a less responsible person or for the same AP in a less committed relationship.  My decisions regarding my APs and their sleepovers have zero to do with my children's genders.  I think it's kind of bizarre to assume this is the case, but again, I think it's even more bizarre to assume that all males are potential pedophiles, as the PP does, and I know others think it's bizarre that my AP is allowed to have his best friend share his room, so we can all just agree that we think the others are bizarre. :-)
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