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Au Pair Discussion
Reply to "Son tells me Au Pair in Mean "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I once nannied for a girl whom everyone loved and just gushed over. But she was a complete psychopath. She would hit me, spit in my face everyday. She was awful I had to make the decision early on to quit because I hated her. It's been over 5 years and I still hate this child. Sometimes it's just not a good fit. Thankfully I've gone on and nannied for wonderful children. If the nanny doesn't like your child it's not always the nannies fault. [/quote] It's okay to hate her. I still hate the 8 year old I au paired for 10 years ago (not US). I know it's ridiculous but he hit me, he spit at me, he broke my things (including going into my locked room to break things), he hurt his baby sister, he broke his older sister's stuff, he barked at me... all tolerated by his parents for whom "parenting" meant "ignoring". I also left when I noticed that at that point in time I was the wrong AP for that family. They talked me into staying until summer vacation started and then showed their true colors (left me home alone, without transportation, food or internet for a weekend and without paying me on Friday so I barely scraped by on my savings). OP, if you are sure your children are telling the truth, talk to your AP. Get the LCC involved if you think it's necessary. However... I am 100% certain that my 8 year old in the US thought I was mean and might have voiced that towards her parents more than once. Because I was the one who was parenting her for 90% of the time. So I was the one who told her no. I was also the one who would ask her to play on her own, if I was caring for her younger sister (feeding, changing diapers etc.). It was me who told her to do things (homework, bring her dirty laundry into the laundry room, brush her teeth, wear long pants in winter etc). I don't remember ever raising my voice at her but I don't know what she told her parents. She didn't like me much. We got along well but she had been the previous care giver's favorite (which included previous AP taking her, and just her, to the movies, the zoo, for ice cream or shopping in AP's free time - if I took any of my kids, I took all the older ones) and she constantly told me she loved Larla more because Larla never made her clean her room / do her homework / put her own laundry away etc. The 10 year old once told me he hated me - I know he didn't and he did apologize later - because I sent him to his room... for throwing a chair. What a second before had been two brothers fooling around turned into blunt violence which got them both sent to their rooms until they had calmed down and there were no more buts. Oh right... I did yell that day. It made them move though. Quite quickly actually. And there might have been a bit more yelling by HD later that day. Thing is... sometimes children say their care giver is mean. For many different reasons. Could be the care giver really is mean. Could be they percieved the care giver as mean (because they were told no). As someone has mentioned previously, sometimes children use AP being mean as a coping strategy when the AP leaves (they didn't like her anyway so good that she is going away). What was you impression over the last ten months concerning her being "mean" to the kids?[/quote]
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