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[quote=Anonymous]Listen, OP, I'd sit down and discuss it with her NOW.  Be honest about the salary you would increase her to for the cost of living (I'm assuming that the jobs you are moving to will offer a higher salary because of the higher COL out there, or otherwise you will end up being in trouble trying to pay her with the same salary)

then I'd ask her to discuss it with her husband and get back to you in X time.  Like 2 months, not 2 weeks.  This is a big decision - he will have to find another job, they both must want to move to San Francisco area, etc.  Perhaps they can take a weeks vacation to go and visit and see if they want to.

And don't request that she promise you to work there for 5 more years, etc.  Or that you will PROMISE that, either. Because who knows where eveyrone will be in the next 3 to 5 years.

Heck, if they have children, she may end up staying home with her child and not nannying any longer. Or if she has a baby, would you want her to bring her baby with her?  I'm not sure I would want to nanny for another family and have my child in family childcare, since that's what I could afford.

So I'd say you should get a ocmmitment if she moves to SF "with" you that she should commit to one year, but no longer.  And you with her.

If they are young and don't have ties here, they may view this as exciting (I would!) but remember, not everyone wants to move and relocate across the country - not everyone views these things as exciting.  And, of course, her husband must be able to find a job out there, that  is on him, not you, to find the job.

But be honest, discuss it with her, then remember that you both might want to have a few more discussions over the next 2 months as they make their decision.  Could they afford to live near enough to where you'll live that her commute to your house would work?  I don't know, but your combined salary is WAY more than their combined salary (although their combined salary isn't anything to sneeze at) but what if where they live is 50-60 minutes away from your new house?  That's a BEAST of a commute.  [/quote]

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