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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you sound very empathetic, very kind, and very thoughtful.  Your summer sitter sounds young and inexperienced, and not especially confident in managing/handling the range of normal kid behavior.  Your kids (at just the bit you've said) sound like they perhaps need some more regular, firm, and enforced limits and clear consequences for their behavior.

I have toddlers.  My best reasoning, logic, empathy, etc... frequently fail in the face of emotional childish behavior.  What works is less talk, more consequences, more direct action, etc...

So what I'm trying to suggest is a lot less "processing" with everyone and a lot more structure.  Give the people watching your kids a system of expectations and consequences that the kids are accustomed to, will respect and that's based on what works for them and what you do every day in your home.

More structure and discipline will make your kids easier to manage and give a caregiver more options and support.

Failing that, hire someone with more experience who will know how to implement these things with your kids.[/quote]

+1.  I agree with PPs who have said your sitter sounds young and inexperienced.  I realize that she may be sweet and kind and fun with the kids but most experienced nannies would not get so overwhelmed by 1 bad day.  I don't know the age range of your children but I also have 3 little ones.  My oldest is 4 and my youngest is only 6 months.  I am actually complimented often about how polite they are but they also have bad days and my nanny doesn't melt down over it.  My 4 year old has been known to say "I need you to come here now." Generally I respond with "is that how you are supposed to talk to me? If you want me to do x you need to say it nicely." 95% of the time he will then ask me nicely if I can "please help him with x."

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