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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a nanny and a mother I'm on board with those saying its your child who needs disciplined. I absolutely expected my (as the time 3 year old) to be able to hang out by herself downstairs while I put her little brother down for his naps and when I got him up and changed. We've always had door alarms so I would know if she tried to go out, but she also would have been in big trouble because at 3 she should no not to open doors.[/quote]

Lots of kids KNOW the rules that they break. Did your son know not to throw toys, too? But I be the did sometimes, right? For some kids, opening the door and wandering off is the rule that they forget, ignore, or test frequently. In those cases an alarm and an above-the-door lock is important. DS might KNOW that he's not allowed to open the door, but look the neighbor's puppy is in the yard and he IS allowed to pet the dog..."and omg look at the puppy it's licking my hand!..." Kids learn to follow rules gradddddually. 16 year olds know not to speed, but they still do it. We are talking about the real world here and how to keep kids safe in it, not some magical world where children obey every rule every minute after being told once. (But if you have directions there  I'd love to take a peek.)[/quote]

+1.  My 4 year old knows he shouldn't drink the cleaning products under the kitchen sink but if I left the cabinet unlocked and he got into it would you blame the child and say he should know better?  It's fine to say the 3 yo should be disciplined for walking out of the house but the nanny should also know that a 3.5 year old doesn't always follow rules and needs to keep a better eye on him in a safe environment.  By that I mean that it's ok to leave him downstairs for a few minutes while she goes upstairs but ONLY if she's made sure it is safe for him there and that means making sure the door is locked and he can't get out.

OP, if your nanny is showing the proper remorse I probably wouldn't fire her but let her know she needs to be more careful.  Chances are she feels terrible and will be EXTRA careful in the future.  We had a previous nanny who once accidentally gave DC too much baby motrin.  It was purely an accident but she blew it off like it wasn't a big deal.  We fired her that day because I wasn't comfortable that it wouldn't happen again.  Several years ago our current nanny was playing outside with DC when he had just learned to walk.  He wasn't stable and I warned her to be careful and hold his hand.  Well, she didn't and he fell and got a big goose egg and scrape on his forehead.  She felt so horrible I knew it would never ever happen again.  She's been with us for several years now and I feel completely comfortable and trust her completely. [/quote]

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