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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"Like you take your shoes off in the house unless it's been confirmed that they don't want you to bother. "
I do not see that as common sense unless my shoes are muddy. No one I grew up with took shoes off (PA) except for an Asian friend whose mom was from Japan and they were obnoxiously strict about it to the point where I was invited in the house only once in the 3 years we were friends. 
I'm happy to take shoes off but think the burden lies on the host to tell guests they are "welcome" to take off their shoes.[/quote]

See I would say you have that backwards. Making a host tell their guest that they are "welcome to take off their shoes" How does that work? Please feel free to take your shoes off, no really, you really do want to take them off, your feet will feet so much more comfortable. But if you don't, then don't mind me staring at you as you track whatever is on your shoes all over my nicely clean house and the floors that the baby crawls around on. No, it's alright, we'll vacuum and mop after you leave if you don't want to bother. Just go right ahead and be rude and ignorant, we will be sure to invite you back in about 5 years when you might have learned some manners.

No, you always either take your shoes off when you go inside someone else's home, or you ask when you go inside and they can then either say "it's alright" or "if you don't mind, thank you very much".[/quote]

We obviously come from very different worlds because this is not at all how I have ever found people to be with the shoe issue. I work for an upper class family with multiple homes and they most certainly do not expect others to take off their shoes upon entering their house. To each their own...
[/quote]

I'm not talking about whether the family allows shoes or not, it is just common respect to offer to take them off and then let them tell you that you can leave them on. Not all families care, but I can't see how someone would assume it is alright to walk around inside with their shoes on OVER making an offer to remove them.

You can say that the family should have to make it clear that they don't want shoes worn inside, which they usually will do if they don't like it, but I don't assume they will have no problem either. Just like I won't assume that a family would like me to wipe my mouth on their hand towels even if it was after washing my mouth/face and is no longer covered with dirt or germs. Just because they don't tell me that I can't do that, doesn't mean that I assume it is ok. If for some reason I needed to wash and dry my face while there, I would ask about a towel that I could use for that. That is what a good guest does. Maybe it's that Americans are more rude about some things compared to people from other locations in the world, maybe it's about how someone was raised to be respectful and inquire about things when it is not their own home. I just don't see why it is hard for some people to ask as you are walking inside.[/quote]

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