Anonymous
07/25/2013 07:10
Subject: House Rules?
5:55 who thinks it is totally o vious to automatically take your shoes off and even rude if you do not - where did you grow up? Not a snarky question. I am the earlier PP who said it is up to hosts to offer for you to take them off. Although if it a friend who I know keeps shoes off then of course I will automatically do it. Admittedly in this area I do try to remember to ask more often and in my house we try to leave them off but are not super religious about it. But in the OA suburbs where my family is from it would have been really unusual to take them off unless they were specifically muddy/snowy. I wonder if some of the posters who think this is so super obvious come from other countries or else maybe more urban areas. I will concede that no shoes is practically the norm in this area but I think that is far from universal in the US and of course DC area attracts people from all over the country.
Anonymous
07/25/2013 06:02
Subject: House Rules?
Anonymous wrote:Isn't it common sense to take your shoes off if there's carpet? You don't wash carpet (not regularly, anyway), but you do wash tile, laminate, wood etc.
This. While I have been saying that it is something you can ask about, the people that are generally more concerned are those that have carpeting. No one really cares about shoes on hardwood, tile, and laminate flooring. But some really nasty things are on the bottom of your shoes (take a look at the treads of any pair that has grooves in them) and you don't want that stuff sticking into carpet. I will wear my shoes in my own home if I am just going through to get something or if I will be going in and out frequently, but once I am home to stay I take them off. I wouldn't care about a friend being there with shoes on for a couple of hours, but I wouldn't expect to do the same elsewhere.
Anonymous
07/25/2013 05:55
Subject: House Rules?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"Like you take your shoes off in the house unless it's been confirmed that they don't want you to bother. "
I do not see that as common sense unless my shoes are muddy. No one I grew up with took shoes off (PA) except for an Asian friend whose mom was from Japan and they were obnoxiously strict about it to the point where I was invited in the house only once in the 3 years we were friends.
I'm happy to take shoes off but think the burden lies on the host to tell guests they are "welcome" to take off their shoes.
See I would say you have that backwards. Making a host tell their guest that they are "welcome to take off their shoes" How does that work? Please feel free to take your shoes off, no really, you really do want to take them off, your feet will feet so much more comfortable. But if you don't, then don't mind me staring at you as you track whatever is on your shoes all over my nicely clean house and the floors that the baby crawls around on. No, it's alright, we'll vacuum and mop after you leave if you don't want to bother. Just go right ahead and be rude and ignorant, we will be sure to invite you back in about 5 years when you might have learned some manners.
No, you always either take your shoes off when you go inside someone else's home, or you ask when you go inside and they can then either say "it's alright" or "if you don't mind, thank you very much".
We obviously come from very different worlds because this is not at all how I have ever found people to be with the shoe issue. I work for an upper class family with multiple homes and they most certainly do not expect others to take off their shoes upon entering their house. To each their own...
I'm not talking about whether the family allows shoes or not, it is just common respect to offer to take them off and then let them tell you that you can leave them on. Not all families care, but I can't see how someone would assume it is alright to walk around inside with their shoes on OVER making an offer to remove them.
You can say that the family should have to make it clear that they don't want shoes worn inside, which they usually will do if they don't like it, but I don't assume they will have no problem either. Just like I won't assume that a family would like me to wipe my mouth on their hand towels even if it was after washing my mouth/face and is no longer covered with dirt or germs. Just because they don't tell me that I can't do that, doesn't mean that I assume it is ok. If for some reason I needed to wash and dry my face while there, I would ask about a towel that I could use for that. That is what a good guest does. Maybe it's that Americans are more rude about some things compared to people from other locations in the world, maybe it's about how someone was raised to be respectful and inquire about things when it is not their own home. I just don't see why it is hard for some people to ask as you are walking inside.
Anonymous
07/25/2013 03:36
Subject: House Rules?
In my cases no one has carpet beginning at the entrance unless its condo or apartment-
Anonymous
07/25/2013 03:33
Subject: House Rules?
PP yea makes sense on carpet- and it's context too- ok as a nanny to walk around in home in socks- comfy- I thought we were talking in general terms of visiting people- not necessarily just in nanny positions and in my case I was assuming hardwood floors, tile, etc. I did work for someone who didn't have carpet and as I was constantly coming back in forth for things when I would return the kids from a walk or whatever the mother acted like it my sneaker touched the floor it was going to explode- I would have to continuous have to take my sneakers on and off to cross over to the kitchen if I forgot something- in that sense it was uncalled for. But if in terms of nannying for a family that is really nice and respectful- it isn't a big deal.
Anonymous
07/25/2013 03:02
Subject: House Rules?
I find it humorous when parents make a "point" about how ridiculous the concept is of a nanny feeling entitled to a paid 3-4 hour "break" when in your job that would never go down since you work your darndest doing everything you can at every hour you can because you "have to"- but your argument is a joke because you are comparing completely different contexts. You probably sit in an air conditioned office dealing with paper work or professional people- and you most likely get compensated very nicely for it. Nannies are not in nice clean offices with socialization and professional environments- we are doing what most parents on a day to day basis don't do alone or for 8 hours straight without handing them off to the spouse, babysitter or day care provider- and I'm sure you are on your computer, watching tv or keeping busy while the children play alone. But don't you know that a nanny can't do what parents do since we are being paid?
I highly doubt on weekends you spend 8-10 hours straight- alone with your kids in the house on a schedule that leaves every one of those hours dealing with not only being "on", happy, cheerful, and in "play" mode entertaining them, taking them to the park, doing lessons, crafts, activities, driving them, bathing them, cooking and preparing all meals and snacks- changing their diaper ever other hour, picking up their toys, putting them on the potty, dealing with crying, fighting, tantrums, messes, dirty clothes- discipline battles, carrying and lifting them every hour- immediately cleaning up after every single thing- in addition to reading, singing, listening to awful toddler tunes and explaining every single detail or answering the "why" question at every turn- all the whe remaining calm, patient because if at any minute you lose your cool you are done since these aren't your kids.
I doubt you come home everyday from work sweaty, dirty, disheveled, exhausted from running and jumping and conniving or reasoning with a migraine so big that when you come home you are too tired to do anything but sleep before it starts again the very next morning.
An hour break is not only a law but mandatory- a 3 hour break would be icing on the cake- and no one gets 4 hours so that's just stupidity on your part. Get a clue. And to bring it home- the magic pay for all this and more around here in this very prestigious area seems to surprisingly be a whopping $30,000 salary if youre lucky- which is what you pay for daycare in a year- so grow up and realize the job is hard- and no cake walk. Not many can handle it- and you should appreciate the ones that do. The woman is raising your children you jerk so show some respect.
I highly doubt on weekends you spend 8-10 hours straight- alone with your kids in the house on a schedule that leaves every one of those hours dealing with not only being "on", happy, cheerful, and in "play" mode entertaining them, taking them to the park, doing lessons, crafts, activities, driving them, bathing them, cooking and preparing all meals and snacks- changing their diaper ever other hour, picking up their toys, putting them on the potty, dealing with crying, fighting, tantrums, messes, dirty clothes- discipline battles, carrying and lifting them every hour- immediately cleaning up after every single thing- in addition to reading, singing, listening to awful toddler tunes and explaining every single detail or answering the "why" question at every turn- all the whe remaining calm, patient because if at any minute you lose your cool you are done since these aren't your kids.
I doubt you come home everyday from work sweaty, dirty, disheveled, exhausted from running and jumping and conniving or reasoning with a migraine so big that when you come home you are too tired to do anything but sleep before it starts again the very next morning.
An hour break is not only a law but mandatory- a 3 hour break would be icing on the cake- and no one gets 4 hours so that's just stupidity on your part. Get a clue. And to bring it home- the magic pay for all this and more around here in this very prestigious area seems to surprisingly be a whopping $30,000 salary if youre lucky- which is what you pay for daycare in a year- so grow up and realize the job is hard- and no cake walk. Not many can handle it- and you should appreciate the ones that do. The woman is raising your children you jerk so show some respect.
Anonymous
07/25/2013 02:59
Subject: House Rules?
Isn't it common sense to take your shoes off if there's carpet? You don't wash carpet (not regularly, anyway), but you do wash tile, laminate, wood etc.
Anonymous
07/25/2013 02:20
Subject: House Rules?
I agree with PP- I mean really- some people ask you to take your shoes off when you come into their home but its not that common- and unless I really like them as people for anyone else I would totally roll my eyes and be irritated. For starters it's annoying- and awkward- and rude- kind of like what you would tell a child. When I visit people I don't ever expect to be walking in their home in my socks like I do hanging out on my couch to be comfy. If I had a party or friends over I would never tell them as adults to stand there by the door and take their high heels or riding boots off before they could come in and then have them walk around my house in their socks- I mean who does that except other cultures, or really drama queen housewife moms? If you have kids I get that- but visiting adults are not there long enough to "ruin" your precious floors. It's not like they are trekked in mud or poop lol.
Reminds me of the episode from Sex and the City when Carrie goes to a birthday party and her friend answers the door and "asks" her if she could take her shoes off in this condescending "mommy" voice before touching her carpets and Carrie almost falls over attempting to take them off and and pit them next to a ridiculous collection of shoes- and then they get stolen! Haha classic!
Reminds me of the episode from Sex and the City when Carrie goes to a birthday party and her friend answers the door and "asks" her if she could take her shoes off in this condescending "mommy" voice before touching her carpets and Carrie almost falls over attempting to take them off and and pit them next to a ridiculous collection of shoes- and then they get stolen! Haha classic!
Anonymous
07/25/2013 01:30
Subject: House Rules?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:"Like you take your shoes off in the house unless it's been confirmed that they don't want you to bother. "
I do not see that as common sense unless my shoes are muddy. No one I grew up with took shoes off (PA) except for an Asian friend whose mom was from Japan and they were obnoxiously strict about it to the point where I was invited in the house only once in the 3 years we were friends.
I'm happy to take shoes off but think the burden lies on the host to tell guests they are "welcome" to take off their shoes.
See I would say you have that backwards. Making a host tell their guest that they are "welcome to take off their shoes" How does that work? Please feel free to take your shoes off, no really, you really do want to take them off, your feet will feet so much more comfortable. But if you don't, then don't mind me staring at you as you track whatever is on your shoes all over my nicely clean house and the floors that the baby crawls around on. No, it's alright, we'll vacuum and mop after you leave if you don't want to bother. Just go right ahead and be rude and ignorant, we will be sure to invite you back in about 5 years when you might have learned some manners.
No, you always either take your shoes off when you go inside someone else's home, or you ask when you go inside and they can then either say "it's alright" or "if you don't mind, thank you very much".
We obviously come from very different worlds because this is not at all how I have ever found people to be with the shoe issue. I work for an upper class family with multiple homes and they most certainly do not expect others to take off their shoes upon entering their house. To each their own...
Anonymous
07/25/2013 00:49
Subject: House Rules?
Anonymous wrote:"Like you take your shoes off in the house unless it's been confirmed that they don't want you to bother. "
I do not see that as common sense unless my shoes are muddy. No one I grew up with took shoes off (PA) except for an Asian friend whose mom was from Japan and they were obnoxiously strict about it to the point where I was invited in the house only once in the 3 years we were friends.
I'm happy to take shoes off but think the burden lies on the host to tell guests they are "welcome" to take off their shoes.
See I would say you have that backwards. Making a host tell their guest that they are "welcome to take off their shoes" How does that work? Please feel free to take your shoes off, no really, you really do want to take them off, your feet will feet so much more comfortable. But if you don't, then don't mind me staring at you as you track whatever is on your shoes all over my nicely clean house and the floors that the baby crawls around on. No, it's alright, we'll vacuum and mop after you leave if you don't want to bother. Just go right ahead and be rude and ignorant, we will be sure to invite you back in about 5 years when you might have learned some manners.
No, you always either take your shoes off when you go inside someone else's home, or you ask when you go inside and they can then either say "it's alright" or "if you don't mind, thank you very much".
Anonymous
07/24/2013 21:53
Subject: Re:House Rules?
My PT MB leaves me a note each morning (she's gone before I arrive and DB does the handoff) and it usually has a couple of things she'd like me to do (2-3 normally, such as empty dishwasher, vacuum the playroom, wipe down the high-chair, clean toys) but it also always says "Please rest when she is resting!"
My FT MB has never once commented on what I do during nap time, except one day we were both home together while the baby was sleeping and she apologized profusely for wasting my time (she needed to head out again a little later or she'd have let me go early) and commented on how silly it was to have two people there while he was asleep. Then she asked if I wanted to watch TV because she could go work in the other room if I did.
I have the best bosses.
My FT MB has never once commented on what I do during nap time, except one day we were both home together while the baby was sleeping and she apologized profusely for wasting my time (she needed to head out again a little later or she'd have let me go early) and commented on how silly it was to have two people there while he was asleep. Then she asked if I wanted to watch TV because she could go work in the other room if I did.
I have the best bosses.
Anonymous
07/24/2013 21:46
Subject: Re:House Rules?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:b. The Nanny’s full attention should be on the children at all times when they are awake and daily/weekly tasks should be done when the children are napping. In the event that all weekly and daily tasks are finished, then the Nanny is to notify the Parents and additional child care specific developmental tasks will assigned.
To the previous poster who think the above clause is grounds for a nanny to quit. Why? It isn't as if the employer is giving heavy housecleaning. If you are paid to provide attentive childcare and do childcare related duties why do you think you need good chunks of the day to be spent not working but being paid.
I understand that many nannies here do all their tasks while the kids are awake because they want to enjoy themselves during 3-4 hours of nap time surfing the web, watching TV etc. This REALLY isn't appropriate.
Exactly! There is no question that if I ever finished everything on my TO DO list at work, I would be expected to proactively seek out more work, even if that meant taking on tasks that aren't really part of my job or don't fully utilize my skill set but help the office/firm run more smoothly. The sense among nannies that they are entitled to personal time on the job is amazing to me.
+1
While I agree 3*4 hours is excessive not all nannies have that and they ARE entitled to a break of at least an hour to eat and relax. Most jobs provide their employees to have a break. Thankfully I don't have slave driven MB who expect me to forego a break to clean up her mess. I have an hour break (the 2 year old naps 2 hours and the 5 year old have an hour of quiet time) and my MB has ALWAYS encouraged it because she knows being a good nanny is not easy work and no break at all equals a quickly burned out nanny.
Anonymous
07/24/2013 21:36
Subject: House Rules?
This is sad! My 'dad' noticed both kids were down for a nap and told me, "put your feet up and watch some TV!' Lmao!
Anonymous
07/24/2013 21:24
Subject: House Rules?
I'm the nanny with the crap contract...due for signing this Friday when I will provide notice...to be fair to my employers I have a 9 hr day so an hr long break would be a bit much but my issue is being expected to do everything and even when I'm done with everything I need to ask my WAHM for an additional tasks that more than likely aren't related to the children. If I had a performance issue or spent hours during personal things then of course address it and add it to the contract but I'm extremely motivated and have even volunteered to do tasks that most nannies wouldnt dare perform for fear they'd become expected....I think lazy nannies are on to something hahaha.
I'm saddened really because I work really hard for these people and go above and beyond almost daily. Ive never had a contract like this in all my 12 years working as a nanny.
I'm saddened really because I work really hard for these people and go above and beyond almost daily. Ive never had a contract like this in all my 12 years working as a nanny.
Anonymous
07/24/2013 18:54
Subject: Re:House Rules?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:b. The Nanny’s full attention should be on the children at all times when they are awake and daily/weekly tasks should be done when the children are napping. In the event that all weekly and daily tasks are finished, then the Nanny is to notify the Parents and additional child care specific developmental tasks will assigned.
To the previous poster who think the above clause is grounds for a nanny to quit. Why? It isn't as if the employer is giving heavy housecleaning. If you are paid to provide attentive childcare and do childcare related duties why do you think you need good chunks of the day to be spent not working but being paid.
I understand that many nannies here do all their tasks while the kids are awake because they want to enjoy themselves during 3-4 hours of nap time surfing the web, watching TV etc. This REALLY isn't appropriate.
Exactly! There is no question that if I ever finished everything on my TO DO list at work, I would be expected to proactively seek out more work, even if that meant taking on tasks that aren't really part of my job or don't fully utilize my skill set but help the office/firm run more smoothly. The sense among nannies that they are entitled to personal time on the job is amazing to me.
What amazes me is that any human being would be expected to work 10-12 hours a days without some down time.