Reply to I said "I Love You" and I REALLY Meant It.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Jeez, I'm sorry.  I'm an MB.  My kids love our nanny to pieces and she loves them right back.  I can't imagine being so insecure as to be upset by what you described.

I guess you do have to respect her wishes but maybe if you have a good enough relationship with her otherwise you could talk w/ her a bit more.  Maybe something like "I, obviously, will do as you ask.  I do want you to know though that I'm not being dishonest when I tell him I love him - I actually do.  I'm a nanny because I love kids and your son is very dear to me.  He's a (insert some genuine reasons why the kid is lovable to you) little boy and even though I'm his nanny, not a parent, and possibly only in his life for a short time, I care deeply for him.  I hope that is ok with you."

I would hope that an MB, even if deeply insecure, might respond to someone saying they care about her child, while simultaneously respecting her primacy and the difference in roles.

Also, there are other ways you can respond very warmly to the child that let him feel loved and special (as I'm sure you do a 100 times a day) so being asked not to use those three words doesn't mean he can't feel cherished by you.

But overall this kind of stinks for you, and him.  And actually, probably for the horrifically insecure mother as well.  :-([/quote]

+1 great response. I am a MB too. When I first had an AP taking care of my first child I would get upset because she was very affectionate with DC. Yes, I admit, it was jealousy. I have to work full time and she got to be with my DC all day and I got DC for an hour in the morning and a couple of hours in the evening. I struggled with whether I should say anything to her. Ironically, a similar issue came up on a previous thread on DCUM and it helped me "see the light." A poster mentioned that she would be thrilled to know that her DC was surrounded by loving people, and that is what changed my perspective. I no longer viewed the relationship with jealousy, but rather what was best for my DC - which is to be surrounded by love all day every day.

I'm sorry your MB doesn't have the same perspective. I know it is a job and I know people come and go, but that is true throughout life. I don't think people should hold back loving and expressing love for another simply because life might take you in different directions. I think the advice above is great. And, perhaps she will come to understand that the more love her DS is surrounded by and is expressed to him, the more fulfilling his life will be. Good luck. [/quote]

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