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[quote=Anonymous]Unfortunately this mom has issues you may not be able to overcome.

Not being bio mom is likely hard on her and may make her feel a little "lesser" especially if baby prefers bio mom too. If my partner carried and gave birth to the baby and it was clear baby really didn't prefer me at all- I'd be hurt too and it would be hard to deal with with the nanny too. Now, I know enough about babies and child development to suck it up, but this mom likely does not.

The best you can do is to educate subtly, make handovers short and quick "I'll see you tomorrow, time for you to have fun and snuggle with mom!" And leave. Don't look back if baby cries, etc. Share any needed info by text/phone/email/log prior to that parent coming home. Don't try to pacify the child or be overly engaged- hand over and get out ASAP.

You might also talk to bio mom and let her know that you're concerned mom is feeling like the baby prefer you because of this and ask if there's anything you can do to make transitions easier.

Lastly, I would try to be excited when mom comes home. Babies read cues: if the baby senses you stress/worry when that parent comes home- they will know. Talk to baby before mom is due home- babies understand far more than we give them credit for- tell baby mom is coming, be excited about it, mention something good that will happen on mom time. Ie, if baby loves bath something like, "mom will be home soon! How exciting! That means you'll get to have a nice bath with mom!"

Mom should also be spending some one on one time with baby when baby is in a good mood/doing an activity they love. If the only time they have one on one is th cranky evening hours then its easy to see why she feels so badly.

And remind them that this too is a phase, and that the child will spend far more of their life loving them than throwing fits over transition time. [/quote]

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