Anonymous
04/11/2013 09:10
Subject: Re:Bad vibes just now. Advice needed
This is a tough situation and I understand how you feel. It's not your fault the baby reaches for you now and while I can understand how the MB might feel hurt by it she shouldn't take it out on you. My youngest DS gets so excited to see the nanny when she comes in the morning and I am actually happy to see that, I want my kids to be happy with the nanny. Of course he gets excited to see me when I come home in the afternoon so that helps too.
I realize none of what I said helps you. We can all say MB is wrong and you are right but that won't help you keep your job. I appreciate that you are not like half the people on this forum who would just quit too, it shows you are really dedicated to your job and this child.
My suggestion would be to do what other posters have suggested and tell her some anecdotes about previous children you nannied for. I'd go as far as to maybe mention some kids who were like this when they were babies but as they got older they started to prefer their parents. That might make her feel better about the situation. I hope it all works out for you. When is the other MB coming back to town?
I realize none of what I said helps you. We can all say MB is wrong and you are right but that won't help you keep your job. I appreciate that you are not like half the people on this forum who would just quit too, it shows you are really dedicated to your job and this child.
My suggestion would be to do what other posters have suggested and tell her some anecdotes about previous children you nannied for. I'd go as far as to maybe mention some kids who were like this when they were babies but as they got older they started to prefer their parents. That might make her feel better about the situation. I hope it all works out for you. When is the other MB coming back to town?
Anonymous
04/11/2013 09:06
Subject: Re:Bad vibes just now. Advice needed
Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately this mom has issues you may not be able to overcome.
Not being bio mom is likely hard on her and may make her feel a little "lesser" especially if baby prefers bio mom too. If my partner carried and gave birth to the baby and it was clear baby really didn't prefer me at all- I'd be hurt too and it would be hard to deal with with the nanny too. Now, I know enough about babies and child development to suck it up, but this mom likely does not...
And remind them that this too is a phase, and that the child will spend far more of their life loving them than throwing fits over transition time.
This is all great advice but this nanny actually loves the attention here. She doesn't want to fix the problem.
Anonymous
04/11/2013 07:33
Subject: Bad vibes just now. Advice needed
it's FAZED. FOOL! Trying to tell me off and you can't even use proper homonyms. Haha. Good one!Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:. And I bet you love all if the attention don't you? It's just about you isn't it? It's not about how MB feels! Jerk.Anonymous wrote:My MB would never fire me over that...I'm sure it bothers her but she always says its nice to see for her own eyes that DC is getting all the love and nurturing he needs while she is at work.. he proves it by loving me as much as he does.
You are an idiot. What would you like PP to do, push the child off whenever the mom comes home? Grow up. Luckily PP has an adult MB who is not [/b]phased [/b]that her son wants to cuddle with her nanny. I had a charge that would cry every time I was about to leave for the day, but he didn't cry when mom left in the morning. It's change, they are emotional, and for the most part nanny means fun time and play, and most MBs come for quiet reading, dinner, bath and bedtime. That is two very different experiences and most children learn that when parents are home it means bedtime will come soon.
Anonymous
04/11/2013 07:26
Subject: Bad vibes just now. Advice needed
Nope! NEVER have! My momma taught me betterAnonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My oh my. How quickly do we get upset! Is this the type of language you're teaching your charges, Ms. Potty mouth? HahaAnonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:. And I bet you love all if the attention don't you? It's just about you isn't it? It's not about how MB feels! Jerk.Anonymous wrote:My MB would never fire me over that...I'm sure it bothers her but she always says its nice to see for her own eyes that DC is getting all the love and nurturing he needs while she is at work.. he proves it by loving me as much as he does.
What the fuck are you going on about? My point was is nothing to fire your nanny over, if anything it should reassure your MB that you are doing a good job and your charge enjoys being around you. You're a fucking idiot. I said I'm sure it bothers her as it would any MB but it's nothing to fire your nanny over.
Yes.. definitely. I teach my 21 month old charge the same language I use to speak with complete morons on anonymous internet forums. You caught me!! I'll bet you've never cussed in your life huh? Must be nice living in a bubble.
Anonymous
04/11/2013 02:00
Subject: Re:Bad vibes just now. Advice needed
Unfortunately this mom has issues you may not be able to overcome.
Not being bio mom is likely hard on her and may make her feel a little "lesser" especially if baby prefers bio mom too. If my partner carried and gave birth to the baby and it was clear baby really didn't prefer me at all- I'd be hurt too and it would be hard to deal with with the nanny too. Now, I know enough about babies and child development to suck it up, but this mom likely does not.
The best you can do is to educate subtly, make handovers short and quick "I'll see you tomorrow, time for you to have fun and snuggle with mom!" And leave. Don't look back if baby cries, etc. Share any needed info by text/phone/email/log prior to that parent coming home. Don't try to pacify the child or be overly engaged- hand over and get out ASAP.
You might also talk to bio mom and let her know that you're concerned mom is feeling like the baby prefer you because of this and ask if there's anything you can do to make transitions easier.
Lastly, I would try to be excited when mom comes home. Babies read cues: if the baby senses you stress/worry when that parent comes home- they will know. Talk to baby before mom is due home- babies understand far more than we give them credit for- tell baby mom is coming, be excited about it, mention something good that will happen on mom time. Ie, if baby loves bath something like, "mom will be home soon! How exciting! That means you'll get to have a nice bath with mom!"
Mom should also be spending some one on one time with baby when baby is in a good mood/doing an activity they love. If the only time they have one on one is th cranky evening hours then its easy to see why she feels so badly.
And remind them that this too is a phase, and that the child will spend far more of their life loving them than throwing fits over transition time.
Not being bio mom is likely hard on her and may make her feel a little "lesser" especially if baby prefers bio mom too. If my partner carried and gave birth to the baby and it was clear baby really didn't prefer me at all- I'd be hurt too and it would be hard to deal with with the nanny too. Now, I know enough about babies and child development to suck it up, but this mom likely does not.
The best you can do is to educate subtly, make handovers short and quick "I'll see you tomorrow, time for you to have fun and snuggle with mom!" And leave. Don't look back if baby cries, etc. Share any needed info by text/phone/email/log prior to that parent coming home. Don't try to pacify the child or be overly engaged- hand over and get out ASAP.
You might also talk to bio mom and let her know that you're concerned mom is feeling like the baby prefer you because of this and ask if there's anything you can do to make transitions easier.
Lastly, I would try to be excited when mom comes home. Babies read cues: if the baby senses you stress/worry when that parent comes home- they will know. Talk to baby before mom is due home- babies understand far more than we give them credit for- tell baby mom is coming, be excited about it, mention something good that will happen on mom time. Ie, if baby loves bath something like, "mom will be home soon! How exciting! That means you'll get to have a nice bath with mom!"
Mom should also be spending some one on one time with baby when baby is in a good mood/doing an activity they love. If the only time they have one on one is th cranky evening hours then its easy to see why she feels so badly.
And remind them that this too is a phase, and that the child will spend far more of their life loving them than throwing fits over transition time.
Anonymous
04/11/2013 00:21
Subject: Bad vibes just now. Advice needed
Please people, it's fazed not "phased". Ok, carry on.
Anonymous
04/11/2013 00:17
Subject: Bad vibes just now. Advice needed
Totally normal.
Some days the LO prefer me to the parents (both bio, but what does that matter?)
Some days the LO prefer me to the parents (both bio, but what does that matter?)
Anonymous
04/10/2013 23:52
Subject: Bad vibes just now. Advice needed
Anonymous wrote:My oh my. How quickly do we get upset! Is this the type of language you're teaching your charges, Ms. Potty mouth? HahaAnonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:. And I bet you love all if the attention don't you? It's just about you isn't it? It's not about how MB feels! Jerk.Anonymous wrote:My MB would never fire me over that...I'm sure it bothers her but she always says its nice to see for her own eyes that DC is getting all the love and nurturing he needs while she is at work.. he proves it by loving me as much as he does.
What the fuck are you going on about? My point was is nothing to fire your nanny over, if anything it should reassure your MB that you are doing a good job and your charge enjoys being around you. You're a fucking idiot. I said I'm sure it bothers her as it would any MB but it's nothing to fire your nanny over.
Yes.. definitely. I teach my 21 month old charge the same language I use to speak with complete morons on anonymous internet forums. You caught me!! I'll bet you've never cussed in your life huh? Must be nice living in a bubble.
Anonymous
04/10/2013 23:48
Subject: Bad vibes just now. Advice needed
Anonymous wrote:. And I bet you love all if the attention don't you? It's just about you isn't it? It's not about how MB feels! Jerk.Anonymous wrote:My MB would never fire me over that...I'm sure it bothers her but she always says its nice to see for her own eyes that DC is getting all the love and nurturing he needs while she is at work.. he proves it by loving me as much as he does.
You are an idiot. What would you like PP to do, push the child off whenever the mom comes home? Grow up. Luckily PP has an adult MB who is not phased that her son wants to cuddle with her nanny. I had a charge that would cry every time I was about to leave for the day, but he didn't cry when mom left in the morning. It's change, they are emotional, and for the most part nanny means fun time and play, and most MBs come for quiet reading, dinner, bath and bedtime. That is two very different experiences and most children learn that when parents are home it means bedtime will come soon.
Anonymous
04/10/2013 23:34
Subject: Bad vibes just now. Advice needed
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:. And I bet you love all if the attention don't you? It's just about you isn't it? It's not about how MB feels! Jerk.Anonymous wrote:My MB would never fire me over that...I'm sure it bothers her but she always says its nice to see for her own eyes that DC is getting all the love and nurturing he needs while she is at work.. he proves it by loving me as much as he does.
What the FUCK are you going on about? My point was is nothing to fire your nanny over, if anything it should reassure your MB that you are doing a good job and your charge enjoys being around you. You're a fucking idiot. I said I'm sure it bothers her as it would any MB but it's nothing to fire your nanny over.
Anonymous
04/10/2013 23:33
Subject: Bad vibes just now. Advice needed
My oh my. How quickly do we get upset! Is this the type of language you're teaching your charges, Ms. Potty mouth? HahaAnonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:. And I bet you love all if the attention don't you? It's just about you isn't it? It's not about how MB feels! Jerk.Anonymous wrote:My MB would never fire me over that...I'm sure it bothers her but she always says its nice to see for her own eyes that DC is getting all the love and nurturing he needs while she is at work.. he proves it by loving me as much as he does.
What the fuck are you going on about? My point was is nothing to fire your nanny over, if anything it should reassure your MB that you are doing a good job and your charge enjoys being around you. You're a fucking idiot. I said I'm sure it bothers her as it would any MB but it's nothing to fire your nanny over.
Anonymous
04/10/2013 21:25
Subject: Bad vibes just now. Advice needed
Anonymous wrote:. And I bet you love all if the attention don't you? It's just about you isn't it? It's not about how MB feels! Jerk.Anonymous wrote:My MB would never fire me over that...I'm sure it bothers her but she always says its nice to see for her own eyes that DC is getting all the love and nurturing he needs while she is at work.. he proves it by loving me as much as he does.
What the fuck are you going on about? My point was is nothing to fire your nanny over, if anything it should reassure your MB that you are doing a good job and your charge enjoys being around you. You're a fucking idiot. I said I'm sure it bothers her as it would any MB but it's nothing to fire your nanny over.
Anonymous
04/10/2013 20:26
Subject: Bad vibes just now. Advice needed
Anonymous wrote:. And I bet you love all if the attention don't you? It's just about you isn't it? It's not about how MB feels! Jerk.Anonymous wrote:My MB would never fire me over that...I'm sure it bothers her but she always says its nice to see for her own eyes that DC is getting all the love and nurturing he needs while she is at work.. he proves it by loving me as much as he does.
Your reply to PP was uncalled for.
If you were my charge, I'd make you apologize.
Anonymous
04/10/2013 20:20
Subject: Bad vibes just now. Advice needed
Of* pp here.
Anonymous
04/10/2013 20:20
Subject: Bad vibes just now. Advice needed
. And I bet you love all if the attention don't you? It's just about you isn't it? It's not about how MB feels! Jerk.Anonymous wrote:My MB would never fire me over that...I'm sure it bothers her but she always says its nice to see for her own eyes that DC is getting all the love and nurturing he needs while she is at work.. he proves it by loving me as much as he does.