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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's called 'aupair fatigue' and it's a real thing.[b] If you don't have it as a host parent, it's because you aren't worrying about whether your aupair is happy/sad/homesick/what have you.[/b]
I recommend not following her on social media. If you are hosting someone who has just left their parents' home and hasn't lived on their own, then they still have very little concept that cellphones and car insurance doesn't just magically get paid by someone else. 
[b]The only aupair I nearly chewed out was the one who told me that her room/board and car cost me nothing because I would be paying for them whether she lived with us or not. As if car insurance and food/utilities worked that way. 
It does take and enormous amount of household management and if you already have a long list of things you manage as a parent, it's draining with no appreciation. [/b]
Hosting isn't perfect. We muddled through because it was the best childcare option for us for a few years. 
I'm gleefully aupair free. I do not have to worry about whether our aupair will sit on a couch during a family holiday on her phone and then sulk because her friend got a bigger Christmas bonus. I raised 5 teenagers/young adults who weren't my own over 7 years. SO happy to be done with it all. [/quote]

Thank you. That is exactly what I feel. I can't stop worrying about the AP because I care as a person. And that is exactly why hosting is not for me. I care too much. I care about our life, our assets, our feelings as well as AP's life and her feelings. However, most of the time there is conflict of interest between our life and hers and that is causing my struggle.

My AP never said that room/board cost me nothing but from her other comments about our life I know she thinks that way. I feel like I would have to cry poor in front of her to make her understand life is not easy. I on purposely not to purchase any big items to treat myself because the AP will judge my life and feel more entitled for the perks I gave to her. She sees that we have a decent life but she doesn't see the tears behind that. She doesn't feel the pain and stress when I have to work to 1am 3 days in a row.

Only 3 months left. [b]I will continue to make a great year for the AP but I will be very happy when it is finally done.[/b] [/quote]

We'll be done after this year as well, especially after the California lawsuit. AP happily eats brie for lunch that "appears" in our fridge and has zero recognition/appreciation that I noticed/now keep it on hand. I hope karma eventually gets all of these self-absorbed APs one day when they have to fend for themselves...[/quote]

My AP eats the last piece of special treats and it is so annoying to find out that none is left when you are craving for it. I would certainly share with her but I didn't buy it just for her. I think most of the HF would not mind giving more perks or doing something special for an excellent AP if they appreciate it. Sometimes the perks cost a lot and I would only pay for it for someone really exceptional but not a just good or so so AP.  We initially were planning to go to Disney this year but we changed our mind because of the AP. I don't want to pay extra $4k for her because she would just simply take it as a jackpot. (we were planning to stay in the resort because we want to do it right and have a nice experience , but one extra room for a week will cost me at least $2k more, plus the tickets, meals and flights, it will be easily $4k). But if I don't take her, I know she will be extremely disappointed and feel we are not treating her like a family. So to avoid all this, we just decided not to go.  Most of the girls don't understand the life here so I am not paying $4k for someone don't understand the value and thought it was easy for us "rich" Americans. [/quote]

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