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[quote=Anonymous]Seeking DCUM wisdom on this situation in which we find ourselves. What would you do here?

We have two boys, 3 & 4.5. A few months ago, we matched with a wonderful au pair--our first--who is arriving in roughly two months. She has completed the process and is all set to come. As the kids reach more fulltime school, we're excited to transition from a nanny to an au pair.

Here's the issue: We had been open to a third child, but after some difficulties on that front, we had essentially turned the page. Well, a few weeks ago, we learned that there may well be a #3 on the way. It's really, really early though; especially in light of past experiences, we aren't planning on really anyone for probably 6 weeks or so. If all goes well, #3 would arrive about halfway through au pair's years with us. We'd anticipate maternity leave for 3-4 months following birth of #3. And, we recognize that we may return to a fulltime nanny next. If that means starting a nanny *before* our au pair departs, we're certainly open to that. Put differently--we don't expect an au pair to be our principal child care for *both* our toddlers and the new born. We'd anticipate the au pair mainly handling child care for the toddlers.

That said, being in a house with toddlers is different than being in a house with two toddlers and a newborn. We are uncertain as to when to inform the au pair as to our (potentially) changing family situation. Do we do so now? Might she/can she ask for a rematch before arriving? It feels weird informing her before any of our family, but we want to be fair to her. We really like her, and would be sad to lose her.

Has anyone been in this situation before? How would you handle it?[/quote]

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