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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hello nannies and parents,

How do you handle when the grandparents come to visit and they are so involved in the kid's life. Nannies do you let them tell you how to take care of the kids? How about laundry and dishes when they let it for you? They never clean after themselves? Do you set boundaries or let it go? Parents do you give off to your nannies when your parents are in town or you let your parents help your nannies? Do the grandparents go with your parents follow your nannies everywhere for playdates or playgrounds? I'm a nanny and usually when the grandparents come to visit, the parents let me go after I put kids for a nap or I didn't come when the grandparents came over. But, with my new family I have to stay with the grandparents all the times and it's so overwhelming to be followed.
Thank you[/quote]

My contract lays out the main expectations for everyone, then we evaluate the minor details when they're here.

Nobody tells me to change what I'm doing while we're in front of the children.  Ever.  It's demeaning and diminishes authority.  If the grandparents have a problem with what I'm doing, they're welcome to speak to me about it while the children nap or are in the other room with another adult.  However, any changes will be discussed with the parents prior to implementing any sweeping changes.

I'm quite willing to do the grandparents' dishes, laundry and clean up after them.  My fee is $50/hour, and I'll do it after work.

I welcome grandparents into our day.  I'm happy to accommodate large changes for infrequent visits, provided that we stick to schedules for potty training, food and naps.  For frequent/long visits, it's better for my charges if the grandparents join us, rather than having the grandparents wants derail multiple weeks of consistency.  If my employers want to derail my charges' schedule every time the grandparents are there, I'm not the right nanny for them.  I prioritize consistency along with the relationship with the grandparents, not one over the other.

It sounds like your previous family didn't have you there when the grandparents were, and while some families do that, IME, most don't.  Most families expect the nanny to sit there and blend into the wallpaper while the grandparents take a short time with kids, then they have something else to do and the nanny is ready to take over again.  Honestly, it sounds like your current family is my ideal.  I welcome grandparents who come along to anything we do, and it makes it so much easier when they don't want me to make my charge ignore me and want them.[/quote]

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