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[quote=Anonymous]A college age family member decided to do school online this year due to covid so my sister and I hired her to be our nanny.  Originally she was living with my sister, because they have a much bigger house, and my kids would go over there midday.  But my sister didn’t do a good job of setting boundaries and her kids were constantly interrupting, or my sister would say “do you mind putting them to bed?” and she ended up working lots of unpaid hours.

So over Christmas we decided that she would come stay with us, and go over to my sister’s for the hours when she’s working.  My kids are older, and I think we have better boundaries, or at least I thought we did.

But already, in just a few days, I’m seeing a pattern where she steps in and does things unasked, and I worry that we are going to see a pattern where she ends up feeling taken advantage of here too.

For example, my 13 year old has virtual math tutoring at 8:00 every day.  One of his job is to do the breakfast dishes, and he usually leaves them in the sink and washes them when he’s done at 9:00.  But the past two mornings she’s done them before he gets the chance.  That’s just one example, but there have been others.  She’s also choosing to spend a lot of time with my kids, and I can’t really tell if that’s because she wants company, or because she thinks they need company.  My kids are older so it’s not exactly caregiving that she’s doing, but more hanging out together.  Like she’ll decide she wants to walk the dog, and invite my 10 year along.

Any suggestions on how to set some boundaries to protect her from feeling used? 
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