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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've hosted seven au pairs - the great ones are the ones that also recognize they need to connect with us, the parents, as well as the kids.

My kids are easy, all my au pairs have had great relationships with them, but when they don't recognize that the program is more than just having fun with the kids, we don't extend with them. [/quote]

Bingo. Parents are not innkeepers.  You need to have a relationship with us as well. Doesn't mean we have to be besties, but you can't have an attitude that you will keep us at 3 arms length either. If that's what you want, don't become an au pair---travel under a different visa program.[/quote]

I've had two APs, one for one year and we didn't offer to extend,  and the second just started her second year.  I love almost everything about her, but I don't care for her complete lack of interest in getting to know me.  My first AP was this way too and it didn't bother me as much.  I spent a lot of time listening to her, asking questions, and making her feel comfortable and that AP never asked me a single question about myself (including- how was your day? ).  I don't expect any AP to show the interest in me the same as the kids, but at this point I'm totally burnt out on showing interest in their lives and being treated in return like someone too separate (parental?) or too old (I am significantly older than the AP)  to be able to converse with about anything other than the soccer schedule.  Current AP tells my 10 year old all kinds of personal things that most 10 year olds would not care about but a HM would be happy to listen to and understand.  Things like tricky relationships with step siblings, parent divorce status, etc. I have no interest in being besties- but treat me like a human instead of like some old grandma who can't possibly have anything interesting to contribute. [/quote]

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