Reply to Would it be better to keep our nanny or send our child to an "interim" school

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[quote=Anonymous]I see your husband’s logic here.  He’s thinking, “Maybe if she practices school over the summer she’ll be really good at school when she starts in the fall!”

But he is missing some key facts about childhood development.

First, you should know that it takes about 6-8 weeks for a kid that age to fully adjust to a new change.  Losing a beloved nanny or starting at a new school individually would be a huge change.  Doing both simultaneously will probably take even longer.  So if you make this switch in May, just when DD finally feels like she has a grip on what is going on, you will change schools and she will have to make the adjustment all over again!

Second, the thing kids this age need most is consistency.  It is their job as toddlers to explore and be defiant and to strike out on their own, but they can only do that if they feel secure.  Every time there is a big change in their world, they have to pause the normal behavior of this age group and retreat to clinginess, emotional outbursts, etc.  They lack confidence because they feel they have a shaky foundation.  If she loses her nanny AND starts a new school in May, she will spend most of the summer coping with that instead of exploring and growing in the way she needs to.  By the time school starts in the fall, she will be thrown for a loop again and spend another month or two adjusting to that.  Basically she will be “off” for months and will ends up missing out on some important experiences for her.

Now, if you are interested in some developmentally-appropriate ways to ease this transition:
1) Find out what the routine is at the school and have nanny put her on a similar achedule over the summer (mealtimes, rest time, etc.)
2) Have DD and nanny spend as much time as possible in group settings over the summer—free story time at a bookstore/library, toddler gym classes, weekly Free Forrest School meetups, Museum story times (Hirschhorn has a great one).
3) As you get close to school starting, see if one of her teachers would be willing to come to the house for dinner.  Definitely get some photos of her teachers, laminate them and let her look at them often.
4) If you can possibly swing it, keep nanny on for a week or two overlapping with school and have her pick DD up early (e.g. week 1 she gets DD before nap, week 2 she gets DD right after nap, week 3 you get DD at the end of the day ad usual).
5) Schedule nanny to come babysit every weekend for the first month, then every other weekend for 2 months, then once a month as long as it works for you both.  It will help DD function at school if she isn’t mourning the loss of a familiar caregiver.[/quote]

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