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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks to all who provided such helpful feedback. Yes, I realize I could have chosen to handle the situation differently, but I didn’t, and I don’t really think it’s fair to withdrawal a once positive referral due to circumstances that occurred after the time of employment.

And for those accusing me of being a bad nanny, or not well connected to the children... I am a good nanny. Of course I loved the children. They were the only reason I stuck it out for as long as I did. The employer/employee dynamic between MB and myself was emotionally draining for me and when I decided to quit, it was for my own mental heath.  MB knew I was a good nanny as she received affirmations from moms and teachers who observed my caregiving daily.

Yes, I could have (and perhaps should have) made an effort to stay in touch. But I didn’t. With my 15 years of experience, of course I have many other great references I can (and do) provide. However, like I said, this particular job I held for two years and it was my last full time position before the job I’m at currently, so leaving it out of my resume completely doesn’t seem like a good choice either. Former MB didn’t say I couldn’t use her as a reference, she just said not to use the reference letter she once provided.

If I could go back and do it all over again I think I would have left at the first or second red flag, but, hindsight is 20/20.
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