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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Question for nannies - any advice on how you might deal with this situation? A past employer, former MB, who once provided me with a glowing reference, recently asked me to discard the letter of recommendation she had written for me (three years ago) because I “ghosted” her children. To give you all some background information, I quit (or attempted to quit) my job in March 2016. MB requested that I stay through the end of the school year. I agreed. I stayed through June 2016, at her request. MB became bitter and resentful about the fact that I did not keep in touch with her family after my time of employment, accusing me of causing “great suffering”  to her children for abandoning them.  :shock:

Fast forward three years. Former MB advises me to discontinue use of the reference letter she provided, stating that it is now “outdated” due to me “ghosting” her children... and yes, all the quotations are direct quotes.

I’m guessing you all may understand why I quit the job the first place (extreme toxic workplace)... but now I’m either left with a great big hole in my resume (I was employed by this woman for two years, which means I dealt with this controlling behavior for TWO YEARS) or every time a prospective employer needs a list of former employers I can just explain the whole story. I’m not worried about her telling people that I didn’t stay in touch (because I don’t think that’s a job requirement!) but having to engage with such hostility (not to mention guilt tripping)  sucks. [/quote]

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