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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How it really feels to be the nanny. It feels like you are invisible at times. As the nanny you do everything for the child/ children. You keep them safe, happy & loved.  You do their laundry, make the meals keep their rooms toys & books organized. You keep track of all activities, school events & make sure they have all they need. Most of all you love that child/ children more then you thought was possible.

You are there to wipe the tears & hold them when sick. You are there  to help them grow & learn. You make it possible for their parents to have quality time with them on evenings & weekends because all you do.

But at the end you get nothing for it. When you are no longer needed.  You are treated like nothing more then the hired help. Which is all they saw you for the whole time. All the times they said you are family to us. Is just something they say to keep you to keep doing it all until they decide you are not needed.  Then you are left heartbroken & confused.

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Serious question - what would you like to happen when the role comes to its end?  Nannies are (rightfully) expensive and a family's needs evolve over time so of course the need for a nanny will wrap up no matter how important they are to the family.  What would make this transition feel better?[/quote]

I’m 7:31.  I am not saying that ALL nanny employers are detached parents, but the sad truth is that the families who use nanny care for the longest (both in number of hours per week and how many years they use nanny care) are the most prone to completely dropping out of nanny’s life when she is no longer working for them.

I have families that I am still in touch with a decade after being their nanny—I come visit them everybyear or two out of state and talk to the parents and kids on the phone every other month.  Those are inevitably parents who were involved and present and used fewer hours of care.  The families where both parents were absent most of the day, where I worked 12+ hour days and was the first to see the kids in the morning and then stayed to tuck them in at night, those parents do not make relationships a priority, so when I leave they don’t answer calls (again, I am talking about calling once a month to talk to the children, not daily and I was their primary attachment figure for years)!  Just last week, a former employer canceled an outing I had scheduled with her daughter because mom forgot she had a club meeting that day.  I had scheduled it with them months ago and it was a meeting that she could easily have skipped.  But mom doesn’t care about my relationship with her kid, so she canceled at the last minute with no offer to reschedule.

What I want is the chance to see my charges at least occasionally, and to talk with them at minimum a few times a year to hear how they are doing.  I want some kind of overall recognition that our relationship, which consisted of 60-70 hours a week for 3-5 years (my usual schedule), was not a blip on the radar, but was an important part of their childhood that the parents and kids value at least a little.[/quote]

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