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[quote=Anonymous]You need to stop talking about why you are leaving and stop trying to justify and defend yourself.  Every time you reopen it to tell her another reason why you dislike her mom it makes it worse.  “Working alongside your mom won’t work for me long-term.”  The end.  Why won’t it work?  “That’s nust the kind of nanny I am: independent.”  Why can’t you just try it?  “I am confident that it won’t work for me.” “You are ruing my pregnancy!”  “I am so sorry that my choice is hahing such a negative impact.  Let me know what I can do to help you manage that stress.”

When you find youself in a hole: stop digging!

As for letter of recommendation, “I would hate to see my time with your family end on a sour note, but I know that it has to end.  How can I support you in this transition?”   You don’t really need a letter of recommendation. If she refuses to give one then find someone else who watched you work with your charge (e.g., my current charge’s neighbors or their preschool teacher would both be good references).  You already have another position lined up.  Don’t engage on that.

Mostly what she needs is time and space to grieve.  She is hormonal and worried that she won’t find someone or won’t find someone as great as you.  Back off, stop engaging and focus on moving forward.

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