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[quote=Anonymous]We had friends who devastatingly had this happen. I'm not sure there are any "right words" (though certainly there are some wrong ones...) I think given the fleeting relationship you had with them, it is sufficient to send a card (I would do that over an email) simply letting them know that you are thinking of them in their grief. If you really want to, you could also send on a game or book for the older child since I know our friends (who also had an older child) struggled with trying to stay present for the older one while processing what had happened.

If these families have a friendship such that you continue to see the family who lost their child once you start the job, I know one thing our friends really appreciated were people who reached out on the due date and the first anniversary (just to say "letting you know I'm thinking of your family today"--nothing more needed). They didn't want to make a big deal of it, but at the same time their own thoughts were very much on the lost baby at those moments. If you don't see them, though, that would feel like overstepping.[/quote]

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