Reply to MB talks negatively of me and the child overheard

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1. You had no business letting her sleep in and skip math when parents had given explicit directions, unless you have the authority to override parental directives (you don’t) or called for permission (you didn’t).

2. How do you know the math is both age- and individual-inappropriate?  I tutor as well as nannying, and most kids are either above or below grade level for in at least one subject.  If you are supposed to be helping with supplements to bring her to grade level (or class level if she’s in an accelerated program?), she may struggle.  Not your business.  If you have concerns, raise them to the parents or quit.

3. Parents should never denigrate an employer to a child as children are incapable of recognizing biases and form incomplete biases.  However, mom was mad because you threw her directions out the window, and she used the situation to reinforce that her priority for her child should also be the child’s priority.   It’s also possible that the child overheard parents talking, child questioned mom and mom spun the words in as positive a way as she could without saying she was lying before.

4. You are between jobs, this isn’t your career.  What level of respect did you expect?  You aren’t even tutoring the child, she’s just doing a few math problems with you.  While I typically side with nannies who are under appreciated, this seems more like you heard a hard truth.

5. As soon as the child stated that mom checked the answer, you should have dropped it and then either written or emailed mom.  The note should have explained that you thought you noticed an error, and daughter said she did it with mom, so you were leaving it for mom to check with daughter, if she decided to do so.

6. You absolutely should not have argued with a child about whether her mother made a mistake or was good at math!!!  You shouldn’t have gotten into the whole discussion at all!

7. You don’t seem to realize that kids at that age elaborate and exaggerate what they hear.  They also lie and make up stories, especially if they think it will get them what they want (you gone and mom home for mornings).  Logical planning is possible, but they are also prone to emotional outbursts, especially when you do something like insult the child’s mother.

8. Stony willed children aren’t a problem, and kids are SUPPOSED to test boundaries!  It’s their job!  It’s how they learn that the same cause has the same effect every single time!  Your job is to make as few rules as necessary, but keep the boundaries firm.  Most rules should relate to health and safety, with parental directives filling in the rest.  Manners and other social graces aren’t rules, they are things children learn to better navigate through life.

I would suggest finding something else to do, pronto!  You don’t seem to understand the basics about this type of position.  Good luck finding something better suited to your knowledge and temperament.[/quote]

You are crazy![/quote]

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