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[quote=Anonymous]References are going to sell her good points unless they left on a terrible note (in which case, it's telling that she put them down as a reference). So, ask very specific questions about things that are particularly important to you.

I would ask about reliability (does she show up on time, every day? did she miss a lot of work due to illness or other conflicts?), ability to problem solve on her own (could she figure out activities, meals, how to get places, dealing with the unexpected like kid falls down and is bleeding on her own), respect for my home (does she keep the kids' spaces neat, is she cost-conscious about art materials, food, outings, and toys [i.e., does she actively attempt to put things back so pieces aren't lost or broken]).

Some of those things you can just make rules about, but others are harder. It is so much easier if you have a nanny who doesn't think you're an endless pit of money, for one thing, and who will do things like put the tops back on the play dough and not throw away $5 worth of berries if your kid doesn't eat them because it's easier than wrapping them up.

The other big piece I would ask about is how easy she is to talk to, especially if you want to change something or ask her to do something differently. You want someone who is a generally pleasant person and who wants to work with you.

There is a big UNLESS here. If you are looking for someone who will take over 100% for you because you work long hours, or travel a lot, then the main questions you need to ask are about her instincts, reliability, experience, and competence. In that case, you actually do want someone who will make all the decisions on her own.[/quote]

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