+1000 to 12:32. Looking back there were things we should have picked up on but it was our first time hiring a nanny and we didn’t know what to expect. Huge huge difference between a truly good review and a “ I don’t want to harm her prospects but she wasn’t great” review.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many parents (such as 11:32) are better suited to hiring a sitter, rather than a nanny.

?? I have always expected both our sitters and our nannies to be competent and on time. If anything, sitters are *less* likely to problem solve on their own, not more likely (simply because they aren't around your kids as often or for as long at a stretch).

At any rate, OP--lots of good suggestions. I would also ask about why the care situation ended and whether they have continued to see the nanny. (Several past families of our old child's nanny continued to use her for occasional babysitting even as their kids were well into the elementary years, which we took as a good sign of a lasting relationship.) I also asked references what they felt was one area of strength and one area for improvement. People are light on areas for improvement but it can at least shine a little light on potential challenges. In the case of both of our children's nannies (both of whom were wonderful overall, and both of whom we love dearly), the areas for improvement that references IDed were very on point (as were the strengths) and it was helpful to go in with that knowledge.

+1... I asked if they have to say one negative thing about the nanny, what would it be. Then I thought about whether I could live with whatever the answer was.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many parents (such as 11:32) are better suited to hiring a sitter, rather than a nanny.

Not 11:32 but all of what was said was important to hiring a nanny.

I don't think you have a good grasp of nanny vs sitter differences.

Anonymous wrote:Many parents (such as 11:32) are better suited to hiring a sitter, rather than a nanny.

Not 11:32 but all of what was said was important to hiring a nanny.

If you will ever need to change hours, or if you have any uncertainty in your daily schedule, ask the references about flexibility and willingness to work overtime. Some nannies love it (extra $$), and some resent ever being asked to stay late, even if they do it.

Anonymous wrote:Many parents (such as 11:32) are better suited to hiring a sitter, rather than a nanny.

?? I have always expected both our sitters and our nannies to be competent and on time. If anything, sitters are *less* likely to problem solve on their own, not more likely (simply because they aren't around your kids as often or for as long at a stretch).

At any rate, OP--lots of good suggestions. I would also ask about why the care situation ended and whether they have continued to see the nanny. (Several past families of our old child's nanny continued to use her for occasional babysitting even as their kids were well into the elementary years, which we took as a good sign of a lasting relationship.) I also asked references what they felt was one area of strength and one area for improvement. People are light on areas for improvement but it can at least shine a little light on potential challenges. In the case of both of our children's nannies (both of whom were wonderful overall, and both of whom we love dearly), the areas for improvement that references IDed were very on point (as were the strengths) and it was helpful to go in with that knowledge.

Many parents (such as 11:32) are better suited to hiring a sitter, rather than a nanny.

Ask about the nanny's phone use and if they had cameras.

Make a point to hear what they aren’t saying to you. Most people would give a great reference, even if the nanny wasn’t great. They don’t want to harm her job prospects. There’s also the general bias in the way people want to justify to themselves their choices and costs.

References are going to sell her good points unless they left on a terrible note (in which case, it's telling that she put them down as a reference). So, ask very specific questions about things that are particularly important to you.

I would ask about reliability (does she show up on time, every day? did she miss a lot of work due to illness or other conflicts?), ability to problem solve on her own (could she figure out activities, meals, how to get places, dealing with the unexpected like kid falls down and is bleeding on her own), respect for my home (does she keep the kids' spaces neat, is she cost-conscious about art materials, food, outings, and toys [i.e., does she actively attempt to put things back so pieces aren't lost or broken]).

Some of those things you can just make rules about, but others are harder. It is so much easier if you have a nanny who doesn't think you're an endless pit of money, for one thing, and who will do things like put the tops back on the play dough and not throw away $5 worth of berries if your kid doesn't eat them because it's easier than wrapping them up.

The other big piece I would ask about is how easy she is to talk to, especially if you want to change something or ask her to do something differently. You want someone who is a generally pleasant person and who wants to work with you.

There is a big UNLESS here. If you are looking for someone who will take over 100% for you because you work long hours, or travel a lot, then the main questions you need to ask are about her instincts, reliability, experience, and competence. In that case, you actually do want someone who will make all the decisions on her own.

We our switching from daycare to a nanny for our 7,4 and 1 year old. What are some questions to ask their references. Got some off a google search but would like to hear from others