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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]MB here.

I'd find a way to frame it so you can be responsive to her question to you.

"Jane, I know that you asked me whether I thought Johnny was spoiled, and that the in-laws made some hurtful comments, but then we were interrupted so I never got to answer your questions.  I think Johnny is delightful!  Of course, he is going through all the normal developmental stages, and he's bright so he also is learning how to manipulate all of us around him.  :-)  I do notice that he is getting particularly good at using tantrums to get what he wants (like the other day when he xxxx because he wanted you to yyyy.)  So I've been thinking about how we might adapt to that and perhaps encourage less tantrumming and more positive behaviors around getting what he wants.  One thing I do is xxxxx.  I have pretty good luck getting him to not throw his food if I XXXX .  So maybe we can refocus his behavior a bit with some of those kinds of approaches.

Anyways, I just wanted to make sure I didn't ignore your questions.  If you like any of those ideas I can try them out and let you know how it's going.  And maybe we can figure out one thing we work on together so he knows he'll get the same reactions from both of us and I'm not undermining something you're trying to teach him."

That would be my basic approach.  You're supporting her, answering her question, and - if you're lucky and she's not hopeless - you'll help her learn how not to be so manipulated by him.  All couched in a way that is hopefully not threatening.

Of course, you're only with him on weekends so maybe there's a whole other level of challenge with a weekday caregiver also?  COuld be tough.  But it's worth a shot - for everyone's sake!  :-)
[/quote]

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond with such a detailed post.  It is greatly appreciated.  Your advice is great!  I am basically going to memorize your post and talk to my MB.

The fact is my charge is miserable when he is crying and getting so worked up.  I feel bad for him.  He is smart and very verbal and tells me that he doesn't like how it makes him feel.

Thank you again! [/quote]

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