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[quote=Anonymous]If you do a search here OP you will find some relevant threads.  Here's my quick two cents as someone who has had to do this with a long-term nanny, and as an employer who has had to fire people more than once.

- Be direct, clear, and concise.  You don't need to give tons of information, in fact, I'd argue against it.  Nor do you need to lie. 
- Give her a termination letter and a reference letter along with the severance check. Make the termination letter brief - We are terminating your employment effective today, and are giving you X, representing two weeks severance.  We appreciate the care you have provided to Emily and wish you all the best.  Attached is a copy of a reference letter for you to use in your search, and you may provide our contact information to future employers as well.  
- Be brief.  Be kind.  Be clear.  
- Have a handful of declarative statements practiced in the event she becomes angry or upset or whatever.  Things like "You have done nothing wrong, we just don't think this is a good fit." " I will be happy to provide a good reference for you that speaks to your loving nature. "  "You may be eligible for unemployment benefits."  "we wish you all the best."  "I understand you're upset - this is hard.  But we felt it would be best to not make you come back to work knowing that this was happening."  
- Be sure to get your key and anything else of yours that she might have (carseat for instance?)

Practice what you're going to say, and practice how you and your husband are orchestrating it together.

It feels a little counter-intuitive perhaps but brief and calm is actually much kinder than a drawn out explanation or conversation.  And when someone gets fired they often get emotional and can't remember the specifics of the conversation anyway.  That is why a severance letter and a written reference that backs up whatever you say verbally is helpful and important.

Good luck OP.

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