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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Breaks where you relieve her are certainly not required, but as a nanny, if I only get maybe 2 hours a day of naps where I don't have to be "on" and I spend most of that handling child-related chores like laundry, food prep, etc. and I have 45 minutes leftover to eat my lunch, then that is a time when I really need and value peace and quiet to mentally recharge.

But the real answer to all of your questions is COMMUNICATION!  Instead of polling a bunch of anonymous nannies online and doing whatever we say, or polling a bunch of MBs and doing it whatever they tell you you are "entitled" to do, you need to look for an experienced, trustworthy nanny who has worked with at-home parents before and then communicate with her about what works for everyone.

Figure out your goals--to see DC daily?  To participate in one big outing per week?  To eat lunch together?  What part of the day do you most want to be involved in?

Ask her about her goals and needs--like me, she may need some quiet down-time, or she may be an extrovert who enjoys a gab over lunch.  What about her previous situations worked well or poorly?

Then build regular check-ins into the system so that you can evaluate what's working and what isn't.  Maybe you wanted to join DC for lunch but nanny finds that he eats better when there's no special mommy time distracting him so you decide to tuck him in instead. Etc.

Think it through, LISTEN, and fine-tune as you go.[/quote]

This is great advice.

Most of all - hire well.  Interview and screen carefully for people who have successfully worked with WFHMs in the past, people who enjoy that kind of more collaborative relationship, people with whom you "click" and can work well.  The trick here is really in the hiring first, and then everything else the poster above said.[/quote]

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