Reply to L-T nanny share and nanny pushed us out of share

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[quote=Anonymous]The nanny was told that one set of parents is having another child and their toddler will be going to p/t preschool.  They want to keep her, have their infant with another infant, but still have p/t care for their son.  The distance between the two homes is significantly less than the current distance.

I see the following as things to consider:
1. It sounds like you host now, and that's a long walk for the other family, or a short drive.  With the other family in the neighborhood, it'll either be a short walk or they might host (with two kids, hosting would be a better idea).
2. You never clicked with the other family.  It sounds like they are friends with the other set of parents.
3. Nanny will be making more taking care of three children than she was making for two children, and because she's starting over with infants, she will have longer job security.
4. If a nanny is offered a job, she is not required to let her current family help her decide whether to take it.  She has to do what is better for herself, and clearly it's in her long-term interest to work with infants versus stay in a toddler-only share.
5. Nanny was not given a choice to decline or think about the change, she was simply told that this was going to happen.  She hadn't had time to process when you picked up your child on Friday.  While you wanted more time to think this through, the nanny was probably not expecting it either, and needed to think through all the parameters.  As soon as she processed the news, she spoke to you.
6. Convenience usually trumps slightly higher pay.  If you can't afford preschool and a share, it's highly likely that you think you are paying a wonderful wage, while the nanny feels that it's just market rate.
7. It's not clear who emailed you.  If it was the other family, that's on them, and they are going to do what is best for them.  If it was the nanny, she waited until there was no chance that you would upset the toddlers and until she could decide how to let you know.
8. It's highly possible that the other family told her not to say anything to you on Friday, and as she will be working with them long-term, she can't afford to disregard what they say.
9. Were you planning on cutting nanny's hours later when your child started preschool?
10. How long did you expect this share to last?  Most shares disintegrate when the kids are 3 or 4, but some dissolve earlier.

There are so many different things that could be going on, and neither you nor we know the particulars.  Yes, this is hard, both for you and for your child, but you will get through it.  [/quote]

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