Toggle navigation
Toggle navigation
Home
DCUM Forums
Nanny Forums
Events
About DCUM
Advertising
Search
Recent Topics
Hottest Topics
FAQs and Guidelines
Privacy Policy
Your current identity is: Anonymous
Login
Preview
Subject:
Forum Index
»
General Discussion
Reply to "Family sudden wants me to change to conform to Judaism. "
Subject:
Emoticons
More smilies
Text Color:
Default
Dark Red
Red
Orange
Brown
Yellow
Green
Olive
Cyan
Blue
Dark Blue
Violet
White
Black
Font:
Very Small
Small
Normal
Big
Giant
Close Marks
[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Live-in nanny here. This seems strange to me. I've worked with Jewish and Muslim families, these are the rules I follow as the norm: Modest clothing at all times in the house and/or with charges (covering knees, elbows and collarbones is the norm for this, more extreme modestly requires neck, ankles and wrists to be covered). I'm welcome to have whatever clothing I want and change once I leave the house when I'm off. I have worn a bandanna on my hair for the Jewish family and one Muslim family, the other Muslim family asked me to wear a sheer scarf as a hijab. None of the three families required me to wear anything over my hair when in the house, as the family isn't required to do so either. Nothing comes into the vehicle (family must provide) or house that isn't kosher or halal (very little difference), but there's never been a restriction on what I could eat during my off hours as long as I paid for it and it was consumed or pitched before I returned. I don't do shabbat or Friday prayers with my charges, but I am happy to help them memorize verses and help them with religious school homework. Frankly, the families and I set up a balance that respects their religious needs while respecting that I don't follow their religion. [b]You need to talk to your NF, because requiring that your vehicle not be used from treif foods on your work hours and specifying that you must eat kosher during off hours is definitely job creep. [/b]If they want provide a vehicle, sure, no treif foods go in it. If they want to provide the kosher foods for you to eat in your off hours, you can eat those (as long as they are acceptable in your diet). I don't think that the dress code is [b]very[/b] modest, but it is modest, and certainly possible to still be cool in the summer; if you need to buy new pieces specifically to keep the job, don't wear them for anything else and write them off as job expenses. Covering your hair is easy, wear it up and throw on a wide hat or bandanna, but ask about in the house, I doubt you're required to have it covered there. Wanting you to live-in is a completely separate issue. Many families think they want a live-in, but they decide after only a week or two that the loss in privacy isn't worth whatever pros they thought they would gain (less salary paid, more flexibility, more hours, you doing housework). If they want you to do live-in and you are amenable, make sure that you do a trial, at least 2 weeks, before considering that you can give up your lease or sell your house.[/quote] It's not job creep it's inappropriate if OP had stated this family were modest Christians instead of Jewish the replies would be no nonsense. My view is this if you want strict religious compliance from your nanny hire a nanny with the same religious convictions. If you refuse to do that, then you should be upfront during interviews that you expect this level of compliance. OP, I would be handing in my notice.[/quote] Wait, so you think that a family converting to a sect of Christianity which required more modesty would get a different response? I don't think modesty is an issue, and I'm fine with the clothing and food issues, as I laid out above. It's different for a live-in, and I understand that.[/quote] Yes I do it would be nealry a 100% you need to quit response, and not long post on how it's not really a big deal. [/quote]
Options
Disable HTML in this message
Disable BB Code in this message
Disable smilies in this message
Review message
Search
Recent Topics
Hottest Topics