Run run run run run. As fast as you can.

Anonymous wrote:I have been with this family for 4 years. Suddenly they have let me know that they have a list of requirements I need to adhere to.

-cover hair when picking up the kids or being with them in public
-no treif foods in my car outside of work hours
- I must dress very modestly when with the kids. No exposed collar bone, no exposed knees or elbows.
- I must eat only kosher within an hour of coming to their home.

They have also said that they would like for me to consider being a live in. Eeeeek

Any Jewish mom bosses or dad bosses want to weigh in on how they handled the kosher/non kosher issue with nanny?

What has changed with them? Have the become more observant. Are they at a Jewish school?

Hair covered no big deal. Throw on a scarf.

Your car, you eat what you want except during work hours at their home or with their kids. Their car, you respect their rules. They need to provide a car.

Modesty ok.

Eating one hour within their home for Kosher. No, in less they are going to pay for the food.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Live-in nanny here. This seems strange to me. I've worked with Jewish and Muslim families, these are the rules I follow as the norm:

Modest clothing at all times in the house and/or with charges (covering knees, elbows and collarbones is the norm for this, more extreme modestly requires neck, ankles and wrists to be covered). I'm welcome to have whatever clothing I want and change once I leave the house when I'm off.

I have worn a bandanna on my hair for the Jewish family and one Muslim family, the other Muslim family asked me to wear a sheer scarf as a hijab. None of the three families required me to wear anything over my hair when in the house, as the family isn't required to do so either.

Nothing comes into the vehicle (family must provide) or house that isn't kosher or halal (very little difference), but there's never been a restriction on what I could eat during my off hours as long as I paid for it and it was consumed or pitched before I returned.

I don't do shabbat or Friday prayers with my charges, but I am happy to help them memorize verses and help them with religious school homework.

Frankly, the families and I set up a balance that respects their religious needs while respecting that I don't follow their religion.

You need to talk to your NF, because requiring that your vehicle not be used from treif foods on your work hours and specifying that you must eat kosher during off hours is definitely job creep.
If they want provide a vehicle, sure, no treif foods go in it.
If they want to provide the kosher foods for you to eat in your off hours, you can eat those (as long as they are acceptable in your diet).
I don't think that the dress code is very modest, but it is modest, and certainly possible to still be cool in the summer; if you need to buy new pieces specifically to keep the job, don't wear them for anything else and write them off as job expenses.
Covering your hair is easy, wear it up and throw on a wide hat or bandanna, but ask about in the house, I doubt you're required to have it covered there.

Wanting you to live-in is a completely separate issue. Many families think they want a live-in, but they decide after only a week or two that the loss in privacy isn't worth whatever pros they thought they would gain (less salary paid, more flexibility, more hours, you doing housework). If they want you to do live-in and you are amenable, make sure that you do a trial, at least 2 weeks, before considering that you can give up your lease or sell your house.

It's not job creep it's inappropriate if OP had stated this family were modest Christians instead of Jewish the replies would be no nonsense.
My view is this if you want strict religious compliance from your nanny hire a nanny with the same religious convictions.
If you refuse to do that, then you should be upfront during interviews that you expect this level of compliance.
OP, I would be handing in my notice.

Wait, so you think that a family converting to a sect of Christianity which required more modesty would get a different response?

I don't think modesty is an issue, and I'm fine with the clothing and food issues, as I laid out above. It's different for a live-in, and I understand that.

Yes I do it would be nealry a 100% you need to quit response, and not long post on how it's not really a big deal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Live-in nanny here. This seems strange to me. I've worked with Jewish and Muslim families, these are the rules I follow as the norm:

Modest clothing at all times in the house and/or with charges (covering knees, elbows and collarbones is the norm for this, more extreme modestly requires neck, ankles and wrists to be covered). I'm welcome to have whatever clothing I want and change once I leave the house when I'm off.

I have worn a bandanna on my hair for the Jewish family and one Muslim family, the other Muslim family asked me to wear a sheer scarf as a hijab. None of the three families required me to wear anything over my hair when in the house, as the family isn't required to do so either.

Nothing comes into the vehicle (family must provide) or house that isn't kosher or halal (very little difference), but there's never been a restriction on what I could eat during my off hours as long as I paid for it and it was consumed or pitched before I returned.

I don't do shabbat or Friday prayers with my charges, but I am happy to help them memorize verses and help them with religious school homework.

Frankly, the families and I set up a balance that respects their religious needs while respecting that I don't follow their religion.

You need to talk to your NF, because requiring that your vehicle not be used from treif foods on your work hours and specifying that you must eat kosher during off hours is definitely job creep.
If they want provide a vehicle, sure, no treif foods go in it.
If they want to provide the kosher foods for you to eat in your off hours, you can eat those (as long as they are acceptable in your diet).
I don't think that the dress code is very modest, but it is modest, and certainly possible to still be cool in the summer; if you need to buy new pieces specifically to keep the job, don't wear them for anything else and write them off as job expenses.
Covering your hair is easy, wear it up and throw on a wide hat or bandanna, but ask about in the house, I doubt you're required to have it covered there.

Wanting you to live-in is a completely separate issue. Many families think they want a live-in, but they decide after only a week or two that the loss in privacy isn't worth whatever pros they thought they would gain (less salary paid, more flexibility, more hours, you doing housework). If they want you to do live-in and you are amenable, make sure that you do a trial, at least 2 weeks, before considering that you can give up your lease or sell your house.

It's not job creep it's inappropriate if OP had stated this family were modest Christians instead of Jewish the replies would be no nonsense.
My view is this if you want strict religious compliance from your nanny hire a nanny with the same religious convictions.
If you refuse to do that, then you should be upfront during interviews that you expect this level of compliance.
OP, I would be handing in my notice.

Wait, so you think that a family converting to a sect of Christianity which required more modesty would get a different response?

I don't think modesty is an issue, and I'm fine with the clothing and food issues, as I laid out above. It's different for a live-in, and I understand that.

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

From what I know about Judaism. Only married women cover their hair. I'm not married (or Jewish) so I shouldn't have to.

It depends. For more orthodox, only the husband (and possibly children) see a woman's hair, so she covers her head once she hits puberty.

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

From what I know about Judaism. Only married women cover their hair. I'm not married (or Jewish) so I shouldn't have to.

Do you really think they care what you think you know?
They want you to leave, so they think all these sudden demands will prompt you to move on.

What did you say when they presented all these new requirements?

Op here.

From what I know about Judaism. Only married women cover their hair. I'm not married (or Jewish) so I shouldn't have to.

I would give notice. They need to hire someone who already follows their requirements IMO.

Anonymous wrote:Live-in nanny here. This seems strange to me. I've worked with Jewish and Muslim families, these are the rules I follow as the norm:

Modest clothing at all times in the house and/or with charges (covering knees, elbows and collarbones is the norm for this, more extreme modestly requires neck, ankles and wrists to be covered). I'm welcome to have whatever clothing I want and change once I leave the house when I'm off.

I have worn a bandanna on my hair for the Jewish family and one Muslim family, the other Muslim family asked me to wear a sheer scarf as a hijab. None of the three families required me to wear anything over my hair when in the house, as the family isn't required to do so either.

Nothing comes into the vehicle (family must provide) or house that isn't kosher or halal (very little difference), but there's never been a restriction on what I could eat during my off hours as long as I paid for it and it was consumed or pitched before I returned.

I don't do shabbat or Friday prayers with my charges, but I am happy to help them memorize verses and help them with religious school homework.

Frankly, the families and I set up a balance that respects their religious needs while respecting that I don't follow their religion.

You need to talk to your NF, because requiring that your vehicle not be used from treif foods on your work hours and specifying that you must eat kosher during off hours is definitely job creep.
If they want provide a vehicle, sure, no treif foods go in it.
If they want to provide the kosher foods for you to eat in your off hours, you can eat those (as long as they are acceptable in your diet).
I don't think that the dress code is very modest, but it is modest, and certainly possible to still be cool in the summer; if you need to buy new pieces specifically to keep the job, don't wear them for anything else and write them off as job expenses.
Covering your hair is easy, wear it up and throw on a wide hat or bandanna, but ask about in the house, I doubt you're required to have it covered there.

Wanting you to live-in is a completely separate issue. Many families think they want a live-in, but they decide after only a week or two that the loss in privacy isn't worth whatever pros they thought they would gain (less salary paid, more flexibility, more hours, you doing housework). If they want you to do live-in and you are amenable, make sure that you do a trial, at least 2 weeks, before considering that you can give up your lease or sell your house.

It's not job creep it's inappropriate if OP had stated this family were modest Christians instead of Jewish the replies would be no nonsense.
My view is this if you want strict religious compliance from your nanny hire a nanny with the same religious convictions.
If you refuse to do that, then you should be upfront during interviews that you expect this level of compliance.
OP, I would be handing in my notice.

Live-in nanny here. This seems strange to me. I've worked with Jewish and Muslim families, these are the rules I follow as the norm:

Modest clothing at all times in the house and/or with charges (covering knees, elbows and collarbones is the norm for this, more extreme modestly requires neck, ankles and wrists to be covered). I'm welcome to have whatever clothing I want and change once I leave the house when I'm off.

I have worn a bandanna on my hair for the Jewish family and one Muslim family, the other Muslim family asked me to wear a sheer scarf as a hijab. None of the three families required me to wear anything over my hair when in the house, as the family isn't required to do so either.

Nothing comes into the vehicle (family must provide) or house that isn't kosher or halal (very little difference), but there's never been a restriction on what I could eat during my off hours as long as I paid for it and it was consumed or pitched before I returned.

I don't do shabbat or Friday prayers with my charges, but I am happy to help them memorize verses and help them with religious school homework.

Frankly, the families and I set up a balance that respects their religious needs while respecting that I don't follow their religion.

You need to talk to your NF, because requiring that your vehicle not be used from treif foods on your work hours and specifying that you must eat kosher during off hours is definitely job creep.
If they want provide a vehicle, sure, no treif foods go in it.
If they want to provide the kosher foods for you to eat in your off hours, you can eat those (as long as they are acceptable in your diet).
I don't think that the dress code is very modest, but it is modest, and certainly possible to still be cool in the summer; if you need to buy new pieces specifically to keep the job, don't wear them for anything else and write them off as job expenses.
Covering your hair is easy, wear it up and throw on a wide hat or bandanna, but ask about in the house, I doubt you're required to have it covered there.

Wanting you to live-in is a completely separate issue. Many families think they want a live-in, but they decide after only a week or two that the loss in privacy isn't worth whatever pros they thought they would gain (less salary paid, more flexibility, more hours, you doing housework). If they want you to do live-in and you are amenable, make sure that you do a trial, at least 2 weeks, before considering that you can give up your lease or sell your house.

I know they don't eat pork....

First they don't eat pork.

Whoa whoa. That's just odd that they are springing this on you now. I would leave. Something is weird.

RUN.. Don't walk.. RUN As fast as possible

I have been with this family for 4 years. Suddenly they have let me know that they have a list of requirements I need to adhere to.

-cover hair when picking up the kids or being with them in public
-no treif foods in my car outside of work hours
- I must dress very modestly when with the kids. No exposed collar bone, no exposed knees or elbows.
- I must eat only kosher within an hour of coming to their home.

They have also said that they would like for me to consider being a live in. Eeeeek

Any Jewish mom bosses or dad bosses want to weigh in on how they handled the kosher/non kosher issue with nanny?