Reply to Can you ask your au pair to do the laundry when she has a kid with her all day?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]23:54, why aren't you asking her to do the laundry during those 2.5 hr naps? Just wondering. [/quote]

23:54 here - we don't micromanage those types of things. She takes English classes 3 nights a week and often does her homework during nap time.  She knows her responsibilities and it's up to her to prioritize them and balance them with her personal life. [/quote]

I'm the PP that called you out. I understand what you're saying in that it is up to her to handle all of her responsibilities, but you really are shirking yours by not counting ALL of the hours she spends working. If you don't like the way she spends her working hours or feel she is choosing activities that aren't appropriate, that of course should be addressed. However the fact of the matter is that if she is taking your kids on activities, whether you feel they benefit her or not, she is still working and those hours count, as do any hours she spends doing laundry in the evening as a result of said activities. You can't pick and choose which hours you'd like to count. If she's working, they count. If you don't like how she's spending her work time address it. [/quote]

PP - Ok, you are right. Thanks for "calling me out". If she's working, she's working. I will now tell her that she cannot set up play dates with her AP friends (and their infant charges) and now has to stay local in our neighborhood on the one day when she isn't doing drop off and pick up so that she can do the laundry and my kids can get to know our neighborhood kids better.

I will also pull together a list of child related activities that she will be required to do instead of studying for her English classes during naptime (organizing the kids books so they look better on the shelves, sorting the laundry by color, sleeve length, etc so it looks more organized, work harded at getting stains out of the kids clothes, organize the toys so that all those tiny pieces on the bottom of the toy box actually find their home, set up children's crafts and science projects for when the kids wake up, washing and usiing anti-bacterial scrubs on all the toys, organizing the seasonal clothes, - oh the list of things I will now be able to get off my to-do list and now pass on to our AP!!!). If she's working, she's working. And I really don't want to be "shirking my duties" by not telling her exactly what she is supposed to be doing every minute for 45 hours a week.

Thanks for pointing out that we are not effectively micromanaging our AP's time and not using all the hours that we should be on specific actvities that directly support our child's development without regard to our AP's personal and academic life.

Obviously, we have different approaches to developing our AP relationships. Since all of our APs have extended for a second year, I would say that they have been pretty happy with the flexibility that we provide to them with regard to finding a work/life balance that works for them. 
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