You sound like a moderday Simon Legree, OP

You sound like a moderday Simon Legree, OP

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:23:54, why aren't you asking her to do the laundry during those 2.5 hr naps? Just wondering.

23:54 here - we don't micromanage those types of things. She takes English classes 3 nights a week and often does her homework during nap time. She knows her responsibilities and it's up to her to prioritize them and balance them with her personal life.

I'm the PP that called you out. I understand what you're saying in that it is up to her to handle all of her responsibilities, but you really are shirking yours by not counting ALL of the hours she spends working. If you don't like the way she spends her working hours or feel she is choosing activities that aren't appropriate, that of course should be addressed. However the fact of the matter is that if she is taking your kids on activities, whether you feel they benefit her or not, she is still working and those hours count, as do any hours she spends doing laundry in the evening as a result of said activities. You can't pick and choose which hours you'd like to count. If she's working, they count. If you don't like how she's spending her work time address it.

PP - Ok, you are right. Thanks for "calling me out". If she's working, she's working. I will now tell her that she cannot set up play dates with her AP friends (and their infant charges) and now has to stay local in our neighborhood on the one day when she isn't doing drop off and pick up so that she can do the laundry and my kids can get to know our neighborhood kids better.

I will also pull together a list of child related activities that she will be required to do instead of studying for her English classes during naptime (organizing the kids books so they look better on the shelves, sorting the laundry by color, sleeve length, etc so it looks more organized, work harded at getting stains out of the kids clothes, organize the toys so that all those tiny pieces on the bottom of the toy box actually find their home, set up children's crafts and science projects for when the kids wake up, washing and usiing anti-bacterial scrubs on all the toys, organizing the seasonal clothes, - oh the list of things I will now be able to get off my to-do list and now pass on to our AP!!!). If she's working, she's working. And I really don't want to be "shirking my duties" by not telling her exactly what she is supposed to be doing every minute for 45 hours a week.

Thanks for pointing out that we are not effectively micromanaging our AP's time and not using all the hours that we should be on specific actvities that directly support our child's development without regard to our AP's personal and academic life.

Obviously, we have different approaches to developing our AP relationships. Since all of our APs have extended for a second year, I would say that they have been pretty happy with the flexibility that we provide to them with regard to finding a work/life balance that works for them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:23:54, why aren't you asking her to do the laundry during those 2.5 hr naps? Just wondering.

23:54 here - we don't micromanage those types of things. She takes English classes 3 nights a week and often does her homework during nap time. She knows her responsibilities and it's up to her to prioritize them and balance them with her personal life.

I'm the PP that called you out. I understand what you're saying in that it is up to her to handle all of her responsibilities, but you really are shirking yours by not counting ALL of the hours she spends working. If you don't like the way she spends her working hours or feel she is choosing activities that aren't appropriate, that of course should be addressed. However the fact of the matter is that if she is taking your kids on activities, whether you feel they benefit her or not, she is still working and those hours count, as do any hours she spends doing laundry in the evening as a result of said activities. You can't pick and choose which hours you'd like to count. If she's working, they count. If you don't like how she's spending her work time address it.

Anonymous wrote:23:54, why aren't you asking her to do the laundry during those 2.5 hr naps? Just wondering.

23:54 here - we don't micromanage those types of things. She takes English classes 3 nights a week and often does her homework during nap time. She knows her responsibilities and it's up to her to prioritize them and balance them with her personal life.

23:54, why aren't you asking her to do the laundry during those 2.5 hr naps? Just wondering.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP - Are those hours while the kids are at school counted as hours towards her work week? If so, it seems she does have hours during which she is scheduled to work that she is without kids and would have an opportunity to do laundry etc. I ask because in my situation AP has a kid for the entire 45 hours and therefore I was not sure if I could expect her to do laundry as well.

PP here - Sometimes. It just depends on how the week rolls out. This week our AP worked 7 - 5 on Monday and Wednesday and the kids were in school from 9:30 - 12:30 on those days. The previous week we had back to school night so we needed those morning hours so we did drop off on one of the days and the AP's hours started at noon that day.

When our kids were younger the APs would do the laundry while the kids were there.

I would say - if you didn't allow the AP to do the laundry while she is with the children for what ever reason, then you have to provide her a couple of hours to do it, which would be included in her 45 hour total. If you allow her to do the laundry while the child is there and she chooses not to, then you don't have to count those hours towards her 45. On occasion our AP has done the laundry during her free time - rarely, but it happens sometimes. Usually it is because they have set up a playdate so they aren't able to finish up the laundry during the day.

Well then it isn't exactly her free time, is it? I hope you're counting those hours.

I knew someone was going to jump on that. No, we do not count those house. These playdates are with her AP friends, not with chidren we know or, in many situations, even met. If she chooses to drive to meet up with her AP friends into DC or a playground in Fairfax rather than going to the local library where our neighborhood kids go, then that is her choice. If this causes her to push off completing the kids' laundry to her own time, then no, we do not count that towards our 45 hours. OUr children still nap every day from 1:30 - 4, giving her even more time to complete the laundry. She can manage her own time. She knows what her resonsibilities are and if she chooses to add an activity (that primarily benefits her) to the week's schedule that doesn't allow her to manager her time to get everything completed during that 45 hours, then that is her own time management issue, not ours.

house s/b hours

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP - Are those hours while the kids are at school counted as hours towards her work week? If so, it seems she does have hours during which she is scheduled to work that she is without kids and would have an opportunity to do laundry etc. I ask because in my situation AP has a kid for the entire 45 hours and therefore I was not sure if I could expect her to do laundry as well.

PP here - Sometimes. It just depends on how the week rolls out. This week our AP worked 7 - 5 on Monday and Wednesday and the kids were in school from 9:30 - 12:30 on those days. The previous week we had back to school night so we needed those morning hours so we did drop off on one of the days and the AP's hours started at noon that day.

When our kids were younger the APs would do the laundry while the kids were there.

I would say - if you didn't allow the AP to do the laundry while she is with the children for what ever reason, then you have to provide her a couple of hours to do it, which would be included in her 45 hour total. If you allow her to do the laundry while the child is there and she chooses not to, then you don't have to count those hours towards her 45. On occasion our AP has done the laundry during her free time - rarely, but it happens sometimes. Usually it is because they have set up a playdate so they aren't able to finish up the laundry during the day.

Well then it isn't exactly her free time, is it? I hope you're counting those hours.

I knew someone was going to jump on that. No, we do not count those house. These playdates are with her AP friends, not with chidren we know or, in many situations, even met. If she chooses to drive to meet up with her AP friends into DC or a playground in Fairfax rather than going to the local library where our neighborhood kids go, then that is her choice. If this causes her to push off completing the kids' laundry to her own time, then no, we do not count that towards our 45 hours. OUr children still nap every day from 1:30 - 4, giving her even more time to complete the laundry. She can manage her own time. She knows what her resonsibilities are and if she chooses to add an activity (that primarily benefits her) to the week's schedule that doesn't allow her to manager her time to get everything completed during that 45 hours, then that is her own time management issue, not ours.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP - Are those hours while the kids are at school counted as hours towards her work week? If so, it seems she does have hours during which she is scheduled to work that she is without kids and would have an opportunity to do laundry etc. I ask because in my situation AP has a kid for the entire 45 hours and therefore I was not sure if I could expect her to do laundry as well.

PP here - Sometimes. It just depends on how the week rolls out. This week our AP worked 7 - 5 on Monday and Wednesday and the kids were in school from 9:30 - 12:30 on those days. The previous week we had back to school night so we needed those morning hours so we did drop off on one of the days and the AP's hours started at noon that day.

When our kids were younger the APs would do the laundry while the kids were there.

I would say - if you didn't allow the AP to do the laundry while she is with the children for what ever reason, then you have to provide her a couple of hours to do it, which would be included in her 45 hour total. If you allow her to do the laundry while the child is there and she chooses not to, then you don't have to count those hours towards her 45. On occasion our AP has done the laundry during her free time - rarely, but it happens sometimes. Usually it is because they have set up a playdate so they aren't able to finish up the laundry during the day.

Well then it isn't exactly her free time, is it? I hope you're counting those hours.

Anonymous wrote:PP - Are those hours while the kids are at school counted as hours towards her work week? If so, it seems she does have hours during which she is scheduled to work that she is without kids and would have an opportunity to do laundry etc. I ask because in my situation AP has a kid for the entire 45 hours and therefore I was not sure if I could expect her to do laundry as well.

PP here - Sometimes. It just depends on how the week rolls out. This week our AP worked 7 - 5 on Monday and Wednesday and the kids were in school from 9:30 - 12:30 on those days. The previous week we had back to school night so we needed those morning hours so we did drop off on one of the days and the AP's hours started at noon that day.

When our kids were younger the APs would do the laundry while the kids were there.

I would say - if you didn't allow the AP to do the laundry while she is with the children for what ever reason, then you have to provide her a couple of hours to do it, which would be included in her 45 hour total. If you allow her to do the laundry while the child is there and she chooses not to, then you don't have to count those hours towards her 45. On occasion our AP has done the laundry during her free time - rarely, but it happens sometimes. Usually it is because they have set up a playdate so they aren't able to finish up the laundry during the day.

When our APs used to be on 45 hrs a week with children we did ask for laundry to be done but expected it to be done mainly during naps. Our DC2 napped for 2 hours in the morning and 3 in the afternoon and then for 2-3 in the afternoon when he moved to one nap, so there was always time to do something during this time. If your children don't nap and you expect your AP to be 100% on with them AND if your laundry is on a different floor than play space, then it may be harder. You could ask AP to throw in the wash before going to the playspace and then switch it over quickly during the day. If it's too much for AP then you can fold and put away, but the AP can certainly start things (and your children can help with putting away if they are 3 and up).

I have a nanny and not an au pair but she can absolutely do laundry while also watching the kids. It's not like she has to walk a mile to the river and beat dresses against rocks. It's a minute in front of the washer, two minutes transferring clothes, and 10 minutes folding.

My 2 yr old likes to help match corners, match hems, match socks and fold them, fold towels, etc.

PP - Are those hours while the kids are at school counted as hours towards her work week? If so, it seems she does have hours during which she is scheduled to work that she is without kids and would have an opportunity to do laundry etc. I ask because in my situation AP has a kid for the entire 45 hours and therefore I was not sure if I could expect her to do laundry as well.

I leave it totally up to her as to when she wants to do the laundry. The kids are in preschool and she can use that time to run errands or do the laundry. We schedule the full 45 hours a week. She usually starts the laundry on Friday right before drop off, then she finishes it up during the day while the kids are at preschool or are napping. The only requirement we have is that she can only do it once a week (our first AP had her favorite kid outfits that she would put the baby in and would do laundry a few times a week so that they were always clean.)

For those of you that ask your au pair to do the laundry do you set aside separate hours when she is not watching kids to do the laundry (i.e. two of the hours she is scheduled is for doing laundry and not watching kids).