Reply to My Charge Breaks My Heart

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[quote=Anonymous]Don't feed or reward this behavior from the child.  She is seeking attention and has learned that this approach pulls at your heartstrings and gets her attention.

Stop rewarding that.

She's 4 so reframe your thinking about it to reflect a 4 year old motivations, not an adult's interpretation of her emotions.

Do not make a fuss when you arrive/leave, do not reward the tantrums with attention.  To help reset the dynamic plan things the child loves to do that happen when the mother gets home, not with you.

Talk to the mother.  Tell her that you've realized this is happening and you are going to work to fix the situation.  I think you are right - this puts your relationship with the employers at risk and you need to manage that.

A child can love her nanny deeply, love her parent(s) deeply, love her grandparents/sibling/family deeply, etc... without the behavior you're describing.  They are not mutually exclusive unless you teach that behavior and attitude.

You can fix this but you have to be willing to sacrifice what this behavior is giving you.

Good for you for wanting to address this.[/quote]

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