Reply to 5 Reasons Why Modern Day Parenting Is In Crisis- Words from a British Nanny

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Obviously it is much easier to deal with someone else's kids than your own.  That writer was clearly not a parent.[/quote]

I'd love to hear some specific points she made that you think don't carry over to parents if you're willing to elaborate! I thought her comments were very on- point, having been both a teacher and a nanny but never a parent, so I'd love to hear what it sounded like to those of you who are parents.

To me it sounded like she was asking parents to/giving parents permission to set boundaries with their kids. Period. She illustrates a lot of ways this is done (not adjusting daily minutia to suit the whims of your four-year-old, allowing school teachers, bus drivers, and shop keepers to correct unruly children, teaching the child personal responsibility and planning rather than letting them believe everyone will drop what they're doing to meet their immediate wants...) but none of them sounded cold to me?

And c'mon, wouldn't ALL of us, nanny or parent, love it if we got congratulated for a tantrum rather than side-eyed? Truly, it means you are doing something right; learning that the world doesn't bend to them is a tough lesson for kids but a very, very important one. [/quote]

I'm not the previous poster but I'm a parent.  Let me start by saying I do agree with the author's point about not being too permissive and I agree that parents like she is describing and not doing what is best for their children (although they think they are).  BUT, while I don't completely disagree with the article there are a few things that did bother me about it.  For starters (and maybe it's just me being more sensitive than I should be) it rubs me the wrong way when anyone generalizes about a group of people, whether that is parents, nannies etc and the author IS generalizing by saying that modern day parenting is in crisis because SO many parents are as she describes and I just don't think that is the case.  Secondly, I do think she's exaggerating a bit.  I certainly have friends who are similar to the parents she described in #1 and I'm not going to lie, I go home and tell my husband how Jane is setting herself up for big problems by giving into everything little thing Larla wants. But it doesn't really happen the way the author describes either.  Usually it's more like the child cries that they want something and the parent sighs out of exasperation, decides it not worth the fight, and gives in.  The outcome is the same but the reasoning is different.  It's not because the parent is afraid of their child, it's because the parent is exhausted and doesn't have the energy for a tantrum.

I guess my feeling about this article is that she has valid points but maybe exaggerates a bit and it seems a little condescending from someone who is not a parent and doesn't have the same perspective.[/quote]

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