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[quote=Anonymous]We have a nanny who has been with us for about 3 years.  We love her as does our oldest DD who is 3.  We also have a newborn.  Our nanny always thinks about net pay even though we pay on the books.  I knew what her net expectations were when we started and backed into the gross pay by learning a little about her husband, estimating her itemized and knowing how many dependents. We have always paid gross over over $20/hour plus a bonus worth 2 weeks pay at year end.  Nanny got a COLA raise after year 1 and then after year two we gave the nanny the option of modestly adjusting down her pay rate and us assuming 80% of her $1,000 a month insurance (for her whole family) or we would give a a slightly larger than normal raise and she would pay all the insurance herself.  It was a better deal for her to have us pay the insurance but she was focused on her net paycheck and continues to focus on that.  A different employer used to pay for her insurance and those kids are now in high school so they no longer needed her in the afternoon.  She works for us 30 plus hours a week and is here until early afternoon.  She has found a new 2nd family.  The problem with the pay situation in year 2 is that at the same time we were changing her comp and benefits, we added hours to her week (both our choices).  She had a hard time seeing that the assumption of the insurance was more than a normal raise and even though I have showed her time and time again the numbers, she thinks it is unfair.  Fast forward to this year when the pay raise anniversary rolled around and we had an infant AND her insurance costs have gone up (again we insure the whole family) and there is a now a deductible attached to her insurace.  We have again provided her some options for her to choose how she can get an increment for the baby.  I thought it was a fair package given a 9% increase in total comp last year with at least a 6% increase this year and possibly more depending on what she chose.  I was again told we were not fair since she had a friend who received a much bigger increase for the addition of a child.  I am very stressed about this since what we are offering is at least $24/hour gross plus at least $800 in insurance cost a month.  She compares what we pay to her friends who work for one employer for 50-60 hours while she splits those 50-60 hours between 2 employers.  Does $24/hour gross plus $800 in insurance plus 10 paid vacation days (with at least an additional 2 weeks paid weeks off due to vacations we take or travel we have when we still pay her), 5 sick/PTO days, all federal holidays plus the day after Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve and Good Friday off, at least $1,000 bonus, the use of our car (occasionally we need her to use hers but pay her for that), sound fair?  The 3 year old is in scholl 3 days a week this year and it will be 4 next year.

As noted this has all gotten me rather stressed.  She loves my children, they love her.  I care about her as well but it has really gotten to me that she thinks I am unfair.  Yes, she does laundry and helps around the house but I have always stressed that we don't require that and she knows that.  We pay on the books and pay time and a half when it is over 40 hours a week (sometimes she sits at night for us and we adjust for that).  I just don't want to feel that she resents me and thinks I am unfair when I think what we do IS fair so thought I would get some opinions here.  This is the first time I have posted here but thought I would give it a go.  Thank you. [/quote]

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