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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow - that is a really tough situation to be in!  While I don't have any advice, I do have a warning - do not get involved in their disputes, never speak to one about the other and never take sides.  Just stay completely neutral in everything.  [/quote]

I think this is excellent advice.  I also like the idea of sitting down w/ both parents just to focus on the kid(s) and your role, the plan for maintaining calm and stability for them, what they need/want from you, what you can ask from them that will help buffer the kids.[/quote]

Do not get involved.

Please do yourself a favor and don't ask these two, people you describe as going through a "messy" divorce, to sit down together with you. Begin by asking each parent separately about those issues ("how do you think I can best help provide stability to the children during these transitions?" or "how do you see my role changing in the coming months?"). If after getting the answers from both you feel they are on dramatically different pages, go ahead and send a group email - do not try to organize a sit down. If they ask you to one, of course go, but that suggestion shouldn't come from you.[/quote]

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