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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The OP probably has a job because the mom works from home, so the idea that the mom is going to "make herself scarce" to make the nanny more comfortable is absurd. 
Many of the nannies here have the idea that there should be no challenges in a job other than those the child presents.  Nowhere is it written than nannies are to be purely autonomous employees who do not have to be considerate of the parents when they are present. 
It honestly does raise red flags to me when so many nannies have this attitude that if a parent dares to be present, then the job is suddenly a nightmare. WTF? It definitely makes me think that the concern for the child is feigned, when so few people ask how to make it easier on the child, but rather, how to make it easier on the nanny by removing the parent. OP needs to be able to communicate her concerns with the parent, and come to a conclusion about how to handle it together.  The answer is not going to be for the mom to say, "well let me just leave and not see my children all day, despite the fact that I chose a career that allows me to work from home for the very reason that I can see and participate in my children's lives during the day.... because that makes it so much easier and convenient for you nanny" 
Sure, I can understand why some nannies shy away from these positions. Most people would love a job that involves no interaction with a boss or supervisor where you can spend your day on your cell phone, looking at your lap top, reading books, sleeping on the couch, having friends over etc.... But when you did not apply for and accept a job where the mom works exclusively out of the home, you can not expect to then make it such after you start working.

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Having a parent home that a child can not see or spend time with is torture to a child. Basically child abuse. My mom hates me so much that she will only check on me if I cry. So I cry and make everyone around me miserable. The mindset of a 4 yr old. I have no issue if a parent is home. But know your place.  Thankfully most do. And the whole nanny is sleeping, having friends over, on the phone the whole time . Really yes I talk more and text more when the parents are gone. But sleep and have people over that's not the norm pretty extreme.

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Not the PP you are responding but it is not true that having a parent at home is torture for a child, especially an older child, or that it is child abuse.  That is so ridiculous I don't even know how to respond.

OP - your issue is not that your MB works from home but that it doesn't sound like you are on the same page.  I work from home one day a week.  I usually lock myself into the study but DC (2.5) is welcome to visit me briefly if I am not on the phone.  He knows he knocks, he comes and gets a hug or a cuddle or whatever he needs at that moment, and then he and his nanny go off to do whatever they were doing.  I do take breaks to be with them.  I try to identify in advance for DC when I will take a break, so he knows I will either join him for lunch, or read him a pre-nap story or whatever.  He does sometimes melt down when I leave, but I don't usually just run out of the room.  Usually his nanny and I transition him together into whatever he's doing next - I help put his shoes on and they go to the park, or I sit with him while she prepares the snack and then, oh look, here she is to have snack with you!  It has worked well for us.  And sometimes I do come running when he cries but it's usually to kiss a boo boo.  He doesn't typically get upset with her and come running to me because she and I have the same rules.  If I come down and she has put him in a time out, he has to wait till it's over for a hug, etc.

I'd have a conversation with your MB about your issues in those terms.  I agree with a PP that telling her to make herself scarce or complaining that she is home is going to raise red flags - it would for me too.  Instead I would identify concrete problems and ask her how she'd like you to handle them - and also offer specific solutions and suggestions.  If she's totally resistant to helping figure things out, it may be time to move on.  But I think most reasonable parents are happy to come up with reasonable solutions when problems are presented in a thoughtful and mature way.[/quote]

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