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[quote=Anonymous]Also a MB. I feel for you.

In the corporate world, a good employer would keep her on at this point, with the expectation that she would more than likely be able to return to work, and then in the longer term if her health continued to prevent her from doing her job she would eventually be put on long-term disability or laid off. In fact, there are probably labour regulations around this that require this kind of approach.

But a family only has so much money, it is a difficult situation. You have made a certain commitment to her by the action you have already taken, and you need to see this through to some extent. For example, maybe you need to stop helping her with figuring out her insurance, and just explain that it is putting a real strain on you. You can't know for sure that the health issues are going to continue, but if you start now with reducing your involvement in some areas of her life, that might at least send her the message that she needs to be a bit more self sufficient. But for now, do as you've committed and feel is right, i.e. have her job ready for her to come back to when she is better.

And talk to her. Sit down and explain some of this to her. It's clear you will be sensitive and diplomatic. Don't let her think that her job is at risk, as that will just stress her out and impede her recovery. Be positive, say that you are doing all that you can to help her, that it is hard on everyone at the moment and you really hope that the end result will be good health for her and a long and happy relationship with your family.

I think you also need to talk to her about taking your kids outside though. This seems important to you. Express your understanding of her fears but say that your kids really need to be able to play outside even in colder weather and can she think of any ways in which this could be worked out. If she has worked in the US for 30 years in an area with harsh winters surely she must be able to find some way of accommodating you on this.

Good luck!

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