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[quote=Anonymous]Our relationship with our nanny is deteriorating and I would like to ask for a reality check here.

Here are the specifics:
- we have 2 kids: a 3 year old boy and 10 mo old girl
- boy goes to preschool 2 times a week til 12:00
- We live near White Flint station in North Bethesda
- This woman been with us since our son is 4 months old
- She does not drive and does not speak English
- She works 8 a.m.- 6 p.m. (Mo through Fr)
- She gets $770 per week.   Her hours are guaranteed.  She has 3 weeks paid a year.   We drive her to the metro every day.

When she started with us she was enthusiastically cleaning and some times cooking for us.  We did not ask her for any of it.  She did it to help us out and we really appreciated it.  Then as time went by she slowed down.  She is doing less and less.  It's understandable because now there is an additional child to take care of.

I should mention that we pay on the books.  She wanted to be paid on the books and we also prefer it that way.  Well, turns out that she did not realize how the system works.  she thought that paying on the books means that employer is paying ALL the tax.   Turns out she was liable for her share.  Since she is around 60 years old she did not have many deductions.  So, when she realized she had to pay taxes she was pretty upset.  She try to get us to pay it using manipulative methods.  I gave her some money as  bonus to cover her liability.  She put it on her IRA instead and now she is paying her liability in installments which is affecting her disposable income.

Our relationship been great at the start.  We have had ups and downs through almost 3 years she has been with us.  Now, I feel that the relationship is deteriorating.  She decided not to do laundry today which she usually does and when I asked her about it told me that she did not get time for it.   She is now few minutes late each day and we can see her standing in front of the house and chatting on the phone.  Previously, she used to be extremely punctual.  She ignores me some time, i.e. just would not do something we agreed on.   Now, I am not sure what to do.   I do not want just let her go because she has been great with our kids.  I also feel bad since I am not sure she can find a job that pays her what we pay her since she does not speak English and her native language is not Spanish.  I also am dreading the idea of looking for a different nanny.  AT the same time, she has been requesting we pay her under the table.  She also is saying that she will no longer do light cleaning (while kids are napping) because she has allergy to cleaning supplies.  These cleaning supplies we buy at her request, i.e. the ones she picks.  So, I am not sure whether I am doing something wrong here like not paying enough or not doing enough for her or she is getting too comfortable with us

I would appreciate any feedback on the situation

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