Reply to Being forgotten as the most important figure in a babies life. How to deal?

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[quote=Anonymous]I would want our nanny to stay connected/in-touch w/ our family.  We all love her and I'd want the kids to have that connection.  I can see having her over for dinner, birthdays, maybe baby-sitting if that made sense, etc...

But our nanny is a professional - she has moved on from several families as the kids grow up, and she's maintained contact with most of them for quite a while.  I think that's great.

If our nanny was as distressed as you are, especially this far out, and was talking about wanting to take them on vacation, being their third parent, having visiting rights, being "ripped away" when they are too old to need a nanny, etc... I would be very concerned.

What you are describing sounds excessive and worrisome to me.  I think you should try to figure out why you are so depressed, so dependent on these relationships, whether nannying is the right job for you, how to manage the inevitable job change, etc...

I think the recommendation to get a therapist is a good one.  You sound like you're in a dark spot that is less about the job than some of your own issues.

Good luck.[/quote]

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