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[quote=Anonymous]OP, our current AP is similar. We're almost done with our year with her and are so excited to be done. She was fine as an au pair (though was definitely the worst one we've had), but we just didn't LIKE her.  She is very negative, lacks a world view of things, and basically spent her entire year in bars with friends rather than making the most out of her year. I think it's just how she is. I noticed it in the beginning and didn't think it was worth rematching over (how do you say to someone I want to rematch because I don't like you as a person?), but it made for a pretty miserable year.

It might just be homesickness and it might just be cultural. Americans tend toward "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all" and some other countries don't see these kinda of statements as rude or annoying - they're just facts.

But assuming its still happening after she starts making friends and getting settled, I think you should do one of two things, which I really wish I'd done:

1. In a non-confrontational way, tell her that when she says something negative, that you don't know how to respond. Since you want her to be happy, if she could please let you know if she's just generally complaining but is happy overall or that she needs to bring you a solution with her complaints. So "my lunch was awful!" Becomes "my lunch was awful!  Can you give me some suggestions for where to go?"

2. Commit (and I mean seriously commit) to just letting it go. It's probably just how she is and she doesn't mean it personally. You can just let the comments roll off your back and be confident that you are doing everything you can to help her have a good year.

I have found though, that when you think something is bothering you just a bit in the beginning, if you don't address it somehow right from the start, it will get worse and it will drive you slowly insane until you are counting the days until her year ends. If this isn't something you can roll with, you need to address it now. [/quote]

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