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[quote=Anonymous]Would love to know from experienced host moms whether this situation is likely to improve (or not).

We have a relatively new au pair.  She's been here about 6 weeks.  She is a nice person, but seems immature.  And, in fairness, I think my au pair "job" is harder than many-- (3 kids ages 4-10, pretty much 45 hours every week, minimal house work).

Pretty much immediately, I noticed that our new au pair seems to think that small inconveniences are a really big deal.  Every day, I ask her how her day was (whether it was a work day or a fun day), and without fail, she tells me about how awful something was:  her lunch was not good, she had to wait 30 minutes for the metro, the kids were "bad", she had to wait 2 hours at the DMV, etc.  While she isn't generally sullen, the negativity is grating on me.  I think we live in a great country -- and a great area -- but it's not "Oz".  There are lines here, and mean people and bad service and bad drivers and all of these other things that are everywhere else in the world too.

I've mostly brushed it off -- but it gives me the sense that she has these really unreasonable expectations for life in general (and maybe her au pair experience by extension).

While none of it has been cast as "my home country is better than yours," I'm wondering if this is perhaps a sign of homesickness?  I would like to help her see the world a little differently, but I don't have any delusions about my ability to change someone's nature.

Does this sound familiar to any other hostmoms?  And what happened in those situations?  Did the AP eventually just throw in the towel and return home?  Did it get better?  Did you talk about it?

I want her to be able to talk to me awhen she is feeling sad, or if something bothers her.  But some of this stuff seems so small to me,  and yet is delivered with this nothion that whatever happened is the WORST THING EVER -- and I just don't even know what to say.

Plus, I'm worried that this is already grating on me.  I'm worried that in 3 months, I will be sick to death of the complaints.  And,   And, we're about to book a winter vacation... and we have ALWAYS taken our au pairs on our winter vacations... but I really am not sure I want her to come.  I'd feel really badly leaving her out, but at the same time, I feel like I love these vacations, and we only do it once a year... and the last thing I want is to b have a gripey AP with me ruining the fun.  Any thoughts?[/quote]

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