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Au Pair Discussion
Reply to "Au Pair with a month left"
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[quote=Anonymous]It is very common for APs to slack off in their final month(s), even the best ones. Heck, I am switching jobs at the end of the spring semester, and there is no doubt that I am slacking off a bit right now too! What we have learned from our 7 years of hosting APs is to have a very clear conversation with AP about this: she may be both excited for and also dreading going home. She may feel like she is "done" here and just wants to move on. She may subconsciously be trying to distance herself from your family so that leaving after 17 months isn't as hard as it now feels. Whatever is going on, have a clear but kind and supportive talk with her, name and examine the behaviors, and agree together to each put in the extra bit to help the relationship end on a high. As all of our APs are facing their final months, I have said things like, "We have loved having you with us, and I know you will want your final weeks with us to be as great as the rest of the time was. It is not uncommon for APs to sort of slack off a bit, but we are going to ask you not to and to continue in this time to show us the 110% you have put in all along. In exchange, we are going to continue to do everything we can to make you feel welcome and supported until you leave. We will not, for example, start overtly making plans for new AP while you are still here. And we will continue to cherish and appreciate your efforts and not take them for granted, even though we have been lucky enough to have had your high standard of work for so long." Often, when I have this, I realize that I too have short-timer's syndrome and i'm already looking ahead to what I will do differently with the next AP. But stopping that train of thought and just appreciating what we have liked about the current AP, and making sure she feels celebrated and appreciated as she gets ready to return home, can go a long way. I also discuss with them that my own return from my year abroad in college was harder than the adjustment to the new country in the first place, and this can help open a dialogue that continues well after they are home - since most of our APs do have trouble at least at first with returning home and to their old lives, after an exciting and independent year abroad. Good luck as you navigate the last months of her stay.[/quote]
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