Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP - Children that age aren't just going to pick up toys unless a responsible adult encourages it. Obviously OP's Au Pair isn't doing her job. She isn't even picking up her own things.. Try to be helpful next time, will ya?

Bull$&it! My kids had the general idea of picking up toys at 2.5 and by 3.5 had it dowm pat. Children cam do a great more tthan you give them credit for.

I highly doubt your 2.5 year old would start cleaning up WITHOUT encouragment. I've seen many kids between 2-4 picking up toys but it's almost always with a little help and motivation.. Your only fooling yourself when you say otherwise.

Anonymous wrote:OP I've seen this alot. Many Au Pairs will slack off in the weeks before they leave. Esp Au Pairs who have been unhappy, resentful, entitled, lazy, etc.

I bet if you held a small going away bonus infront of her she'd shape up. (Don't do this though, she doesn't deserve it).

Try having a sit down with her and explain that you're still paying her to do a job and just because she will be leaving in several weeks doesn't give her the right to slack off. You're not slacking off on pay so she shouldn't be slacking off on her duties.

Don't be passive aggressive. She's probably being passive aggressive so you should be very upfront with her and lay down your expectations. Make it awkward for her if you have to.

If you do this, maybe the au pair will descide to go home a month early

It is very common for APs to slack off in their final month(s), even the best ones. Heck, I am switching jobs at the end of the spring semester, and there is no doubt that I am slacking off a bit right now too!

What we have learned from our 7 years of hosting APs is to have a very clear conversation with AP about this: she may be both excited for and also dreading going home. She may feel like she is "done" here and just wants to move on. She may subconsciously be trying to distance herself from your family so that leaving after 17 months isn't as hard as it now feels. Whatever is going on, have a clear but kind and supportive talk with her, name and examine the behaviors, and agree together to each put in the extra bit to help the relationship end on a high.

As all of our APs are facing their final months, I have said things like, "We have loved having you with us, and I know you will want your final weeks with us to be as great as the rest of the time was. It is not uncommon for APs to sort of slack off a bit, but we are going to ask you not to and to continue in this time to show us the 110% you have put in all along. In exchange, we are going to continue to do everything we can to make you feel welcome and supported until you leave. We will not, for example, start overtly making plans for new AP while you are still here. And we will continue to cherish and appreciate your efforts and not take them for granted, even though we have been lucky enough to have had your high standard of work for so long."

Often, when I have this, I realize that I too have short-timer's syndrome and i'm already looking ahead to what I will do differently with the next AP. But stopping that train of thought and just appreciating what we have liked about the current AP, and making sure she feels celebrated and appreciated as she gets ready to return home, can go a long way.

I also discuss with them that my own return from my year abroad in college was harder than the adjustment to the new country in the first place, and this can help open a dialogue that continues well after they are home - since most of our APs do have trouble at least at first with returning home and to their old lives, after an exciting and independent year abroad.

Good luck as you navigate the last months of her stay.

Anonymous wrote:PP - Children that age aren't just going to pick up toys unless a responsible adult encourages it. Obviously OP's Au Pair isn't doing her job. She isn't even picking up her own things.. Try to be helpful next time, will ya?

Bull$&it! My kids had the general idea of picking up toys at 2.5 and by 3.5 had it dowm pat. Children cam do a great more tthan you give them credit for.

We always feel like there is a slump at the end. We have had to have a talk with most of our AP's about keeping up standards at the end. I also recommend getting all babysitting on the schedule - APs always want to use up every night they can for fun at the end, and all of a sudden are out of town or have plans every night.

Anonymous wrote:OP I've seen this alot. Many Au Pairs will slack off in the weeks before they leave. Esp Au Pairs who have been unhappy, resentful, entitled, lazy, etc.

I bet if you held a small going away bonus infront of her she'd shape up. (Don't do this though, she doesn't deserve it).

Try having a sit down with her and explain that you're still paying her to do a job and just because she will be leaving in several weeks doesn't give her the right to slack off. You're not slacking off on pay so she shouldn't be slacking off on her duties.

Don't be passive aggressive. She's probably being passive aggressive so you should be very upfront with her and lay down your expectations. Make it awkward for her if you have to.

What a strange post. If she's been pretty good for 17 months, it's likely she's just having a hard time adjusting to leaving and is demotivated. Why not just have a talk with her? At the point where you've lived with someone for 17 months, you should be able to say "hey, can you not leave your dishes on the sofa? I'm afraid we're going to get bugs." It shouldn't be confrontational and I wouldn't assume she's doing it on purpose necessarily. Why on earth would you want to make it awkward for someone?

Anonymous wrote:OP I've seen this alot. Many Au Pairs will slack off in the weeks before they leave. Esp Au Pairs who have been unhappy, resentful, entitled, lazy, etc.

I bet if you held a small going away bonus infront of her she'd shape up. (Don't do this though, she doesn't deserve it).

Try having a sit down with her and explain that you're still paying her to do a job and just because she will be leaving in several weeks doesn't give her the right to slack off. You're not slacking off on pay so she shouldn't be slacking off on her duties.

Don't be passive aggressive. She's probably being passive aggressive so you should be very upfront with her and lay down your expectations. Make it awkward for her if you have to.

That is an incredibly hostile response. OP, I recommend talking with her a little more kindly and NOT making things awkward. Also PP, who are you to say this AP doesn't deserve a bonus? Maybe she's been brilliant all along but is experiencing some anxiety about the upcoming transition and her work is starting to suffer - which needs to be addressed, but doesn't discredit the two years she's been with them. Lord.

OP I've seen this alot. Many Au Pairs will slack off in the weeks before they leave. Esp Au Pairs who have been unhappy, resentful, entitled, lazy, etc.

I bet if you held a small going away bonus infront of her she'd shape up. (Don't do this though, she doesn't deserve it).

Try having a sit down with her and explain that you're still paying her to do a job and just because she will be leaving in several weeks doesn't give her the right to slack off. You're not slacking off on pay so she shouldn't be slacking off on her duties.

Don't be passive aggressive. She's probably being passive aggressive so you should be very upfront with her and lay down your expectations. Make it awkward for her if you have to.

OP - I'd suggest just mentioning it to her. The end of the year, particularly when she's been there for so long, has got to be a really difficult adjustment for her (and for you of course). You need to sit her down and let her know that you know that it's going to be a difficult time period, but that you need her to continue her excellent performance for the remainder of her month. Particularly with regards to the stuff that's her own mess. If she's leaving snack dishes on the sofa, that's just plain gross. Maybe open up the conversation to any feelings she's having about leaving and anything extra she might need for her last month. It's a tough transition for all, and recognizing that will go a long way.

PP - Children that age aren't just going to pick up toys unless a responsible adult encourages it. Obviously OP's Au Pair isn't doing her job. She isn't even picking up her own things.. Try to be helpful next time, will ya?

Why are your children not picking up their own toys?

My au pair has a month left. Up until now, she has been great for the most part. She never works the full 45 hours so she has extra time we haven't complained about. But recently she has stopped picking up her dishes, leaves her shoes all over the living room, leaves her snack dishes on the sofa, and generally doesn't do much with helping the kids pick up their toys. My kids are 3.5. I have been nice about asking her and she says "Ok, she'll take care of it" but then doesn't. I get home from work and have to pick up the kids stuff and hers. Anyone else experience this? She is from Sweden and has been here 17 months.