Why is hiring a nanny so stressful

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11/20/2015 07:19

Subject: Why is hiring a nanny so stressful

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Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:One mother said that finding me was more stressful than "finding" a good husband.

Well, it's not as much fun anyway

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11/20/2015 07:24

Subject: Why is hiring a nanny so stressful

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry - needed a place to vent. I feel like there may be readers here who would understand. I am so tired of reading au pair profiles and care.com applicant emails...
We all want that perfect nanny, who will dearly love and take care of our children while teaching them great skills and helping them develop their cognitive and motor abilities (and somehow be within our paycheck affordability). After all, that perfect nanny is the one who spends 8am to 5pm with our little ones... We want it to be the right fit. Very tiring process.

Because you are hiring a surrogate mother to do the things you should be doing for your child(ren). You feel guilty, rightfully so, and try to hire what you wish you were.

This is an example of a nanny you do not want

Yup. So many head cases out there.

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11/20/2015 08:45

Subject: Why is hiring a nanny so stressful

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it can be very tiring indeed, but so worth every minute, phone call, background check, etc.

Nothing will be more important for you than to find like you stated, the perfect nanny for your child.

If it seems like a full-time job in itself, you could be right. However nothing in life will ever be a better investment of your time and effort. I can promise you that.

Very well said. Thank you.

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11/20/2015 14:34

Subject: Why is hiring a nanny so stressful

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:MB here. My best luck has always been with neighborhood lsitservs - mom to mom referrals.

But I would give you one piece of advice - don't look for "that perfect nanny". Perfection doesn't exist and you're setting yourself up for failure.

Look for someone whose core values seem to naturally fit with yours, someone for whom the job (inclusive of compensation, benefits, hours, etc...) you are offering is a great fit - you want them to be really happy with what you can offer. Look for someone you instinctively like. Look for someone with terrific, honest, references. Look for someone who asks smart questions, listens to your answers, can have direct conversations with you without giving you pat, canned answers. Look for someone who seems to genuinely enjoy your child or the age range of your child.

Spend A LOT of time deciding what things are deal breakers to you and hire to that - don't try to hire for every little thing. Is maintaining a schedule critically important to you, but trying to achieve early reading skills isn't? Then hire with all of that in mind. (Or whatever your must haves and deal breakers are.)

Etc...

Good luck! It is hard, and stressful for sure.

+1. This is good advice.

The real problem is that anyone can call themselves a nanny. So the market is flooded with unskilled, uninterested, and lazy applicants. That said, there are also wonderfully capable and dedicated professionals out there. It just takes awhile to find them.

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11/20/2015 15:38

Subject: Why is hiring a nanny so stressful

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nannydebsays

Member
Joined: 11/10/2012 15:54
Messages: 840
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Op, it's stressful because you are bringing someone into your home to care for the little person/people you love more than anything in the world.

One way to minimize stress is to do a lot of work with references/background checks. Call references yourself AFTER googling them to make sure they are who nanny says they are, and have a list of open ended questions to ask based in part on the letter of reference they wrote. And get a 50 state background check done that checks for everything under the sun.

When you envision your "perfect" nanny, what are your non-negotiable must-haves? Look for these things first when composing your ad, then once you are doing screening phone interviews ask about your "want-to-haves" and ask about lower priority things when you have culled your applicant list down to those 4 - 6 people you want to interview in person.

Once you are down to a choice between 2 - 3 candidates, have them all over for a 4 hour paid "test run". Tell them some basics about your child(ren), then step back and observe.

Long list of advice short, compose a good descriptive ad, screen/background check as thoroughly as you can, and trust your instincts.

profile p.m.

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11/21/2015 07:00

Subject: Why is hiring a nanny so stressful

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MB here. My best luck has always been with neighborhood lsitservs - mom to mom referrals.

But I would give you one piece of advice - don't look for "that perfect nanny". Perfection doesn't exist and you're setting yourself up for failure.

Look for someone whose core values seem to naturally fit with yours, someone for whom the job (inclusive of compensation, benefits, hours, etc...) you are offering is a great fit - you want them to be really happy with what you can offer. Look for someone you instinctively like. Look for someone with terrific, honest, references. Look for someone who asks smart questions, listens to your answers, can have direct conversations with you without giving you pat, canned answers. Look for someone who seems to genuinely enjoy your child or the age range of your child.

Spend A LOT of time deciding what things are deal breakers to you and hire to that - don't try to hire for every little thing. Is maintaining a schedule critically important to you, but trying to achieve early reading skills isn't? Then hire with all of that in mind. (Or whatever your must haves and deal breakers are.)

Etc...

Good luck! It is hard, and stressful for sure.

+1. This is good advice.

The real problem is that anyone can call themselves a nanny. So the market is flooded with unskilled, uninterested, and lazy applicants. That said, there are also wonderfully capable and dedicated professionals out there. It just takes awhile to find them.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

What parents need to understand is that ANYONE with access to the internet (which is pretty much anyone and everyone since public libraries offer free one hr. internet), can go on Care.com and Sittercity.com and create a free profile. They can then attach the label "Nanny" to it and BAM ! then parents who are willing to pay these ridiculous websites are thinking they have all these "Professional Nannies" to choose from. A whole database in fact.

Sure, they offer background checks, but these are done very shoddy.

I highly recommend going with a well-reputated nanny agency or a referral from a trusted person.

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11/23/2015 01:35

Subject: Why is hiring a nanny so stressful

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Anonymous

If it's any consolation, finding a good family is tough, too. I've been told that I'm very professional -- bringing a portfolio, asking a lot of questions, following up with a thank you note, etc. I can't begin to tell you how many families don't have their stuff together. I wish you the best, OP!

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11/23/2015 09:09

Subject: Why is hiring a nanny so stressful

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:If it's any consolation, finding a good family is tough, too. I've been told that I'm very professional -- bringing a portfolio, asking a lot of questions, following up with a thank you note, etc. I can't begin to tell you how many families don't have their stuff together. I wish you the best, OP!

I quite agree! I don't want to think about how many times I'm ready to interview, with a set of questions and a notepad to record answers, all of the pertinent reference information, background check/driving record and resume, and a list of references for discipline, parenting styles and other relevant topics. More than 75% of the parents seem disorganized, don't know what their needs are and don't want to answer questions or don't have answers. It's incredibly frustrating!