WWYD - Nanny found not paying attention to babies
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Anonymous
| My 7 month old daughter and a 5 month old boy are watched by a nanny. We originally were getting daily reports for when the babies were eating/sleeping/playing etc. and that stopped about a month ago. I recently had suspicion that the babies weren't getting as much attention as I hoped. We have a security camera installed so I popped in to watch it to see their interaction and found the nanny on the couch with the baby propped in her legs and the other baby sitting on the couch with a toy. The nanny was on the phone and not paying attention to either of the children, not even when the 7 month old was hitting the nanny in the arm. I'm a FTM and this is my first nanny experience. Is this normal? what should I be expecting the nanny to do? Do you think this was an isolated instance? |
Anonymous
| Could be either. But let's be honest. Babies are boring and can't talk back to you or anything so I think it's unreasonable to forbid all phone time at all. Maybe she can stream a radio station through I heart radio and feel a little more connected to the outside world that way. The fact the one baby was on her lap and the other close by actually bodes well in my opinion. |
Anonymous
| If a person thinks babies are boring, that person should not be a nanny. I would definitely take some time to ask the nanny how he days are going, if there are things that she would like to engage with the children. New toys, new books. If she needs ideas of activities to do with the children, etc. |
Anonymous
| How can you have a 7 month old and a five month old? Calling troll. |
Anonymous
Sounded like a nanny share situation |
Anonymous
It's obviously a share. You should read more carefully. |
Anonymous
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I think this is not enough to go on. The nanny had a baby in her lap and another right next to her while she chatted on the phone. She wasn't neglecting them - she was literally holding one and within reach of the other. The phone thing - it really depends on how frequently she has calls and how long they last.
Check your camera a few days a day - just for 5 minutes - for the rest of the week. Pick different times to check. A random sampling over time will give you a more accurate picture than one long 20 minute binge watch. |
Anonymous
| few *times/day |
Anonymous
| More than anything the phone use and what is acceptable depends on what the nanny and her employers agreed to at the beginning of the nanny share. If the nanny agreed not to use her phone unless the babies are sleeping, than what OP observed is a problem. |
Anonymous
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Not normal in my world. Our nanny takes the kids to a playground every morning and an activity (library, other playground, 'nature walk', museum, etc.) each afternoon. Never on the phone for any significant length of time.
I am confused as to why it doesn't seem you said anything to the nanny when the daily reports stopped. The very first day you didn't get one, I'd have asked for it. |
Anonymous
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OP here
Yes, it's a nanny share situation, hence the children so close in age. I'd like to give the nanny the benefit of the doubt and think this was just an isolated incident. The babies are fed, clean and happy when we arrive home from work, just trying to figure out what is to be expected of for a nanny of young babies. I can't very much ask the babies how their day went. Is it reasonable to ask for a book to be read every hour? Or tummy time? I would appreciate hearing what others have requested from their nannies with babies at this age. Thanks! |
Anonymous
| Yes, you certainly can ask for certain daily activities to be accomplished each day. I had a list of "daily goals" posted on the wall - tummy time, fresh air, diaper free time, etc. We also specific activities for certain days - library time, baby music jam session at the local cafe, etc. |
Anonymous
MB Here. Of COURSE you can ask for at minimum, one book each hour the kids are awake, and same for tummy time. Although, that may be hard to implement. My daughter are 2 and almost 4 now but they always wanted to read for a block of time and then were finished for a few hours. We'd read like, 5-10 books at once to them. But let me try to simplify this: you can ask the nanny to do ANYTHING related to caring for or playing with the kids for her ENTIRE WORKING DAY. |
nannydebsays
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Op, is it possible that as the babies get older and more active your nanny doesn't have the time to write up the day anymore? To be specific, do the babies naps overlap by more than 1 hour once a day?
Another possibility is that nanny never got feedback on her daily reports, and figured no one cared if she continued or not. And I would be much more concerned if you keep checking in and see babies alone with nanny out of sight for 5+ minutes on a regular basis. |
Anonymous
| For babies that young she should be recording when and what they eat, when and for how long they sleep, when they poop and if the stool was normal, and if anything eventful happened that day like reaching a milestone. This should be required. As far as the phone usage goes, as long as the babies are close to her, safe, and happy I don't think it is a problem. It's actually very good for them developmentally to just listen to their caregiver talk. She should of course be interacting with and talking to the babies, but she can not be expected to do this constantly throughout the day. |