WWYD - Nanny found not paying attention to babies

[Anonymous]

I would definitely keep a close eye on your nanny. She should never be on her phone when the babies are awake unless she is talking to you or the other parent.

A nanny with two babies should be busy engaging them - talking to them singing to them, reading to them and narrating for them. She should have time to keep a detailed log book as well as the babies are probably still taking three naps a day.

[Anonymous]

Make sure your nanny keeps a log of feeding, sleeping, #2. What time the food was given, what was given, how much the baby ate, when was the baby put down for nap,how long the nap, did he/she go #2. It's not complicated, I went back to work when my kids were 18 months old, our nanny filled the log sheet everyday without any problem. It was just a better way to communicate and give me a snapshot of the day. No, our nanny never missed to fill the sheet, it takes 2-3 minutes. There are standard templates available if high google. Also, keep in mind performance must be managed, nothing happens on autopilot.

[Anonymous]

Nanny of 6 mo twins here.

This is what my day looks like:
Wake up
Am feed/get dressed for the day
Playtime
1st nap
Feed
Outing or sensory activity (weather dependent which one)
2nd nap
Feed
Tummy time/floor time with toys
Catnap
Feed/solids practice
Baths/jammies

Now, on some days naps don't line up or don't line up much. When that happens, I may spend most of naptime doing things like folding laundry, bottle prep, etc., and I could see myself zoning out and texting a little during the afternoon floor time period just to get a little mental break. My employers understand that I can't be 100% on every moment without risking burnout, so they trust me to take breaks as needed and not abuse that. I agree that this one instance is a gray area and you need more (and varied) data points to draw any conclusions.

[Anonymous]

Is this in Alexandria? I know another two families (in a share together) who experienced the exact same thing with a nanny who supposedly had excellent references. They let her go for cause, then I quickly saw the nanny's previous family advertising for her on the list serv. This was several months ago, so around the time you may have hired someone.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps it was or wasn't.

What I would do is keep her under "surveillance" for now, watch her more often to see how she cares for the babies.

Perhaps install a nanny cam for about a month.

I normally do not find it a good idea to film someone w/out their consent, but since you already have witnessed some potential neglect, I'm all for it in this case.

[Anonymous]

I don't think this can be considered neglect...maybe not what you would like from your employee? I am a nanny and not a big phone user but when I have infants it's hard not to use a phone/ipad because most of your day is pretty quiet. I think its great that they were sitting with her on the couch. Babies were also content and not crying this is a good nanny. I would watch to see how she interacts at different times or on different days. Its a bad sign if she is always on the phone or only half engaged with kids. Its better to have undivided attention 1/2 the time than 1/2 attention all the time.

[D-ATX]

I think the phone usage is subjective. Some parents care, some parents don't. You can partially gauge how normal this is by paying attention to yourself at work. Do you often find yourself texting a non-job related contact? How many times a day do you browse through your facebook or twitter. When are you writing the post above? Do you have several "water cooler" moments? How many non-work related conversations do you have with you co-workers? I agree with the person who says check at random during the day just to be sure she's not constantly on the phone.

I do think it important to keep in mind that constant adult interaction with an infant, or any child for that matter, is not necessarily a good thing. Would you want someone in your personal space all the time? (I'm a big fan of Magda Gerber - check out youtube.)

You might consider getting the nanny in touch with other moms and playgroups in the neighborhood so that she has somewhere to go that benefits the baby and allows her to have some social interaction. Being on the floor all day everyday can be taxing - even if you constantly switch things up - and especially if you're single, live alone, and have no one to go home to; or are too tired at the end of the day to go out and do all the nightlife activities like the rest of your friends. Most people don't give 2 cents about hearing how, "DD held her bottle today!", or "DD2 rolled onto her tummy all by herself!" It can be very isolating. I can see how I might want to call my husband while on the job just so I could talk to someone lol!


As for the daily reports, maybe she's stopped simply because she was under the impression that you weren't giving them much attention. I would tell her that you really like the reports, and you really appreciate her effort in making them, and you'd love it if she'd resume making them.

[Anonymous]

It could go both ways because there is not enough info but I think you posting in here tells you that in your gut, this is not right.

She is human afterall and she could have bad days.

But, you said she used to report so much more. I think you know that she is not the nanny she made herself out to be in the beginning. You need to figure out if this is OK with you, or not, or you think she is open to improving.

There are plenty of nannies who are better, but it is a little bit disruptive (not damaging for life as nannies would have you believe.). No one is perfect either. Decide if what you saw is OK or if you think you want to find someone better.