Backing out of nanny share
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Anonymous
| We have made arrangements with another family to begin a nanny share this fall, and already have a nanny lined up. However, there is now a spot open in January at a daycare that I really like and would also save us a lot of money. Advice on how to handle this tactfully? Ideally, we would begin the nanny share and give everyone about 2 months' notice that we are backing out (our contract requires only one months' notice), and ideally help find another share family during that time. Does this sound appropriate? |
Anonymous
|
about a month in you will be giving notice?
I think you should tell them now, so they can be looking for a new share partner. |
Anonymous
| If you already know that you will be leaving that soon I would tell them right now, and give them the option of finding another permanent family for the share. |
Anonymous
| How old is your child now? |
Anonymous
|
You have two real options here, which is tell them now, or tell them shortly after the share starts (when exactly does the share start? I'd assume in the next few weeks?).
Obviously, the RIGHT thing to do is tell them NOW. I assume the reason you are hesitant to tell them now is that you need care between now and January, correct? I don't think you run too much risk of them kicking you out before then; that would likely violate the contract and they obviously need you and your share of the money to make it work. Think about it like this: you are making plans for your child's care in January, that's about four months in advance. And how long have you been planning for the share? Also likely several months in advance. So you MUST know that giving them only two months notice really limits their options, as many parents who are looking for care in January and considering a nanny share are likely making those plans NOW. And of course, finding another family for a nanny share is infinitely more difficult than just finding a nanny or a daycare: the kids have to be the right ages, they must be located nearby and have a similar parenting philosophy, and be on board with decisions like who will host, etc, the list goes on and on. Also, giving notice near the holidays is a major disaster, in my twelve years of experience as a nanny, that is the absolute worst time to be looking for a new family (or a new nanny for that matter). Most people specifically plan early to avoid having to seek out a nanny or share family around Thanksgiving or Christmas; it's just not an ideal time. To recap: If you tell them now, you don't run any real risk because you'll still receive the same care regardless. If you wait, you're only going to royally piss off both the nanny and share family. I don't see any really advantage to delay telling them the full truth, and I see a definite downside to it honestly. My advice is to tell them now. |
Anonymous
| I would seriously consider staying in the share, your child will receive much better care if you hired a professional. Much better than any daycare could provide! |
Anonymous
| Sure, it sounds fair and square to me. |
Anonymous
| A good nanny is much better than even the best daycare for the babies -- think long and hard before backing out! We had a share family back out on us two weeks before the share was supposed to start. We ended up finding a great family (though it did take awhile) and the mom who backed out has recently confided that she regrets putting her baby in daycare. |
nannydebsays
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|
The best way to handle this, IMO, is to tell the family and the nanny now, and ask them to consider allowing you to remain in the share until your kid starts daycare EVEN IF they find a new share partner sooner than January.
You'll need to make your case to the family that their child will be OK if the share goes to a triad for a while, and you'll have to make your case to the nanny that caring for 3 for a short time will be worth it - you need to offer a bonus to her if she is willing to accommodate your change of plans. Your other choice is to tell them now and make plans to leave the share once you are replaced - perhaps there is a SAHP in your neighborhood who would be willing to provide care for a short time? |
Anonymous
| Tell them now. Anything else is being selfish. |