Anonymous wrote:Two months ago our nanny of two years asked when would be a good time in August for her to take her 1 week vacation or if we were going anywhere.

We said we were not going anywhere and that the last week of July and first week of August would be best. We have another baby due then and the grandparents can fly in to cover caring for the older child.
We said this verbally and in writing. It seemed agreeable by both sides.

Yesterday, our nanny said she now wants a different week off, later in August. I explained that we went over this in January, made back-up care plans, the grandparents bought their flights, my husband can't take off more work then, etc. And I asked why she changed her plans?
She cited her friend can't get off of work until later and her domestic flights are cheaper later in August.

I am unhappy to hear this, as she did this same thing last summer, only with 1 months notice that she changed her vacation timing, again, based on "cheaper flights" or "her travel friend's cheaper flights." We have a lot of parts this summer to manage and frankly none of them can move. Grandparents can't fly back, husband can't take off of more work on top of paternity leave, and I'll be recovering, caring for a newborn and an energetic toddler.

I left things that we would all have to discuss this further, this is not what we previously discussed nor planned. Does my nanny just not understand? Or what is going on?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two months ago our nanny of two years asked when would be a good time in August for her to take her 1 week vacation or if we were going anywhere.

We said we were not going anywhere and that the last week of July and first week of August would be best. We have another baby due then and the grandparents can fly in to cover caring for the older child.
We said this verbally and in writing. It seemed agreeable by both sides.

Yesterday, our nanny said she now wants a different week off, later in August. I explained that we went over this in January, made back-up care plans, the grandparents bought their flights, my husband can't take off more work then, etc. And I asked why she changed her plans?
She cited her friend can't get off of work until later and her domestic flights are cheaper later in August.

I am unhappy to hear this, as she did this same thing last summer, only with 1 months notice that she changed her vacation timing, again, based on "cheaper flights" or "her travel friend's cheaper flights." We have a lot of parts this summer to manage and frankly none of them can move. Grandparents can't fly back, husband can't take off of more work on top of paternity leave, and I'll be recovering, caring for a newborn and an energetic toddler.

I left things that we would all have to discuss this further, this is not what we previously discussed nor planned. Does my nanny just not understand? Or what is going on?

Our nanny always asks when we are going first so she can go at the same time.
I suppose the flipside would be a sly nanny who always asks when you are going so she can take the adjacent week off and have a two weeker! How thoughtful!

Anonymous wrote:Two months ago our nanny of two years asked when would be a good time in August for her to take her 1 week vacation or if we were going anywhere.

We said we were not going anywhere and that the last week of July and first week of August would be best. We have another baby due then and the grandparents can fly in to cover caring for the older child.
We said this verbally and in writing. It seemed agreeable by both sides.

Yesterday, our nanny said she now wants a different week off, later in August. I explained that we went over this in January, made back-up care plans, the grandparents bought their flights, my husband can't take off more work then, etc. And I asked why she changed her plans?
She cited her friend can't get off of work until later and her domestic flights are cheaper later in August.

I am unhappy to hear this, as she did this same thing last summer, only with 1 months notice that she changed her vacation timing, again, based on "cheaper flights" or "her travel friend's cheaper flights." We have a lot of parts this summer to manage and frankly none of them can move. Grandparents can't fly back, husband can't take off of more work on top of paternity leave, and I'll be recovering, caring for a newborn and an energetic toddler.

I left things that we would all have to discuss this further, this is not what we previously discussed nor planned. Does my nanny just not understand? Or what is going on?

nannydebsays wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two months ago our nanny of two years asked when would be a good time in August for her to take her 1 week vacation or if we were going anywhere.

We said we were not going anywhere and that the last week of July and first week of August would be best. We have another baby due then and the grandparents can fly in to cover caring for the older child.
We said this verbally and in writing. It seemed agreeable by both sides.

Yesterday, our nanny said she now wants a different week off, later in August. I explained that we went over this in January, made back-up care plans, the grandparents bought their flights, my husband can't take off more work then, etc. And I asked why she changed her plans?
She cited her friend can't get off of work until later and her domestic flights are cheaper later in August.

I am unhappy to hear this, as she did this same thing last summer, only with 1 months notice that she changed her vacation timing, again, based on "cheaper flights" or "her travel friend's cheaper flights." We have a lot of parts this summer to manage and frankly none of them can move. Grandparents can't fly back, husband can't take off of more work on top of paternity leave, and I'll be recovering, caring for a newborn and an energetic toddler.

I left things that we would all have to discuss this further, this is not what we previously discussed nor planned. Does my nanny just not understand? Or what is going on?

For those who missed it, OP said they also take 4 - 6 weeks off a year, and that nanny is paid for those weeks.

OP, do you give nanny plenty of notice (8 weeks+) for those weeks? If so, then you are not at all in the wrong here, since nanny has time to make plans for 4 - 6 weeks a year around your schedule. If these 4 - 6 weeks are last minute, then I can see the side of the PP's saying your poor nanny has only 1 week, yadda yadda, yadda.

In your shoes, I would sit down with nanny and say, "When we discussed your week off earlier, you told us specific dates. We made our plans for other coverage based on the dates you first gave us, and relatives have made their travel plans based on your dates. This year, with so much going on, we simply cannot change our schedules. I am so sorry. We would be willing to discuss your taking a different week off unpaid to travel with your friend, or to have you work one of our weeks off doing all the little kid related odds and ends that never seem to be finished. Let's sit down to talk in a week and see how we can make this work for everyone."

Anonymous wrote:...We said we were not going anywhere and that the last week of July and first week of August would be best. We have another baby due then and the grandparents can fly in to cover caring for the older child.
We said this verbally and in writing. It seemed agreeable by both sides...

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think your rage is preventing you from seeing this from a level perspective. She proposed dates and gave you a ballpark. She could not have known that the airlines would jack prices up that week. Her friend could only ask for your preferred dates off and see whether her employer approved it. You can not know there was any bad intention on your nannys part, in fact it sounds like she started planning far in advance to minimize the inconvenience to you. Imagine if she travelled before or after you materity leave?? If your nanny gave you a ballpark and and the time she eventually chose is within it, then you have been treated fairly. I understand that you did tell her what dates work best for you. If she can not afford to fly on your preferred dates or her travel companion can not fly during those dates, is she to not have her vacation at all? That seems incredibly harsh.

Anonymous wrote:Just get another nanny that knows the significance of giving birth, weaving a newborn into a working family's routine, and not having family help in-state.

A nanny that prioritizes her 5th, 6th or 7th vacation week of the year over her boss family's time of turmoil and change is not a caring nor understanding nanny.

Last year's change may have been accommodated, but this summer sounds quite different.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think your rage is preventing you from seeing this from a level perspective. She proposed dates and gave you a ballpark. She could not have known that the airlines would jack prices up that week. Her friend could only ask for your preferred dates off and see whether her employer approved it. You can not know there was any bad intention on your nannys part, in fact it sounds like she started planning far in advance to minimize the inconvenience to you. Imagine if she travelled before or after you materity leave?? If your nanny gave you a ballpark and and the time she eventually chose is within it, then you have been treated fairly. I understand that you did tell her what dates work best for you. If she can not afford to fly on your preferred dates or her travel companion can not fly during those dates, is she to not have her vacation at all? That seems incredibly harsh.

so one employer approves vacations but another doesn't? interesting different levels of professionalism here.