Anonymous wrote:Gee...It sounds to me as if you are saying to us that you feel the nanny does not deserve to be in the playgroup because she is not an experienced mother like the rest of you.

But I thought playgroups were for the kids, not the adults.

Or am I wrong here??

Why should you care if a nanny is present? So what if she is not a mother yet or if she is younger than the rest of you? It doesn't mean that she doesn't deserve to be included in our conversation at all.

You sound like a snob to me.

Anonymous wrote:
But I thought playgroups were for the kids, not the adults.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My nanny did play dates with some moms that she had "nothing in common with". Most of the SAHMs weren't nice or welcoming to her, but a few were and invited her to play groups and I noticed and was grateful.

The nanny is a human being. You probably have something in common with her if you make an effort and if you don't have anything in common with her, you could find out some new things.

And yes, the nanny probably feels uncomfortable and out of place. So you can either help her not feel that way or keep talking to the other moms and ignore her. Your choice.

Nobody is debating whether she is a human being. She's probably very nice. But are you having other people's nannies over to socialize with you on weekends? Just for coffee or to hang out at your house? My guess is you are not, because you have limited social time and prefer to spend it with the people you choose to. It's presumptuous for WOHMs with nannies to assume that a SAHM will be happy to hang out with their nanny.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gee...It sounds to me as if you are saying to us that you feel the nanny does not deserve to be in the playgroup because she is not an experienced mother like the rest of you.

But I thought playgroups were for the kids, not the adults.

Or am I wrong here??

Why should you care if a nanny is present? So what if she is not a mother yet or if she is younger than the rest of you? It doesn't mean that she doesn't deserve to be included in our conversation at all.

You sound like a snob to me.

You are wrong. They are for mom's to make friends.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nanny and for the most part having play groups with SAHM is painful.

In my experience, the mothers can be exclusive and you can very easily be left out. I once went to a local play group that my boss had signed us up for...it was horrible. The SAHM all went into the kitchen to drink and chat, I was left with all the children. I was the free help. I was too young to speak up for myself, but I knew I was being used. Some if the mothers even gossiped about my boss right in front of me, I never felt so invisible. Of course I let my MB know how it went, and thankfully she understood and I didn't have to go anymore.

Most nannies would much rather set up play groups with other nannies. I'd be as welcoming as possible....